Quests of Motherhood

State Fair of Texas 2011

2011-11-06T11:18:00.015-06:00

If you are a regular reader then you know it is a tradition for the three of us to go to the State Fair every year. We consider ourselves professional fair goers. We have it down to a science. We see almost every side-show. They are the most entertaining aspects of the fair. Some change from year to year and others stay the same. We saw quite a few new acts this year. But, the best part of the trip was that we were joined by my family. My parents, my sister, and her son joined us on our whirl wind tour!

Our first stop was the arts and crafts building. The amazing craftsmanship is a marvel to anyone, even the men of our group who are not the least bit crafty.

I crochet so I am always especially in awe of the crocheted items. Of special interest this year were two award winners pictured below. All handcrafted and crocheted. The artisans are truly worthy of their prizes.

The Butter Sculpture! A true work of art made of a common baking ingredient. The sculpture is entirely made of butter. The artist(s) are not given credit for the sculpture but in my opinion should be as they are true artists. I could never imagine working with a baking ingredient while in a giant refrigerator. This year sculpture was especially wonderful with many small details and hidden items that engaged the observers in a game of "I Spy."

The original Ronald McDonald! He did a hilarious comedy/magic routine. He is the original person who appeared on the McDonald's commercials. Rumor has it that he is still involved in the writing of today's McDonald's commercials.

My dad the consummate evangelist used the moment that he met Ronald to present the gospel. That's my dad! Get within ten feet, and he'll find out if you know his savior Jesus Christ, and if not, you'll hear about him before he lets you go.

Cirque Shanghai--A traveling Cirque du Soleil Act...They were breathtaking!

Snugglebug was mesmerized by the acrobats.

The World of Birds is a family favorite. Even as kids showing goats, we would find time in the schedule to see the birds. My sister, Leah, had a particular love and fascination for birds. We lost this precious member of our family this year, and as we sat watching her beloved creatures take to the sky, we remembered her. Not a single one of us in our little troupe overlooked the fact that the one who loved birds the most was no longer with us to enjoy them.

Billy Roy has been performing his One Man Band at the Fair for 20 years. Last year was his first year back after a three-year absence. This year he was given a prized position to perform and sponsored by the State Fair because so many fair-goers had called wanting to know where Billy Roy was.

Billy Roy plays twelve instruments at once and is a delightful performer. He is very entertaining with great songs that make you laugh as well as an impersonation of Willie Nelson that will crack you up as well.

After his performance, we welcomed him back and told him were among those who had missed him and looked for him every year.

An act we had not seen in several years turned out to be Snugglebug's other favorite. Our boy has quite the fascination for horses and stood as close to the fence as he could get. My husband had to watch him closely to make sure he did not get too close for comfort.

The Spirit of the Horse was fascinating as the trainer explained the mind of the horse and his training techniques. He even related some of his techniques to parenting children. It gave me a lot to think about. He left me with one phrase stuck in my head, "Ignore the bad behavior and reward the good behavior." I'm not saying punishment is not sometimes needed, but I have found that maybe it is not needed every time.

Notice how Snugglebug is pressed against the fence. He did have his arms stuck through the fence trying to reach the horse, but I made him put his hands and arms back on his side of the fence.

This is our traveling band of merry makers!

My youngest sister and her sweet baby boy (not so much a baby as he will soon be two!) Snugglebug's Baby Cousin is a great pal and playmate. He was so thrilled that he was able to join us!

My parents! I was thrilled that they joined us. They got the tour of a lifetime of the State Fair. Even though our family had been going to the fair for literally decades, we were always showing animals and never had time to really tour the fair. This was a new experience for them!

And of course, us!

Snugglebug passed out around mid-afternoon. It was all just too much fun. His little buddy and cousin also passed out. Good thing those strollers are so comfy!

As always, the treat of the day is a Fletcher's Corn Dog and ice cream and don't forget the fresh squeezed lemonade. I was on my cleanse and did not eat any of those! I munched on spinach and broccoli while everyone else ate heartily!

Snugglebug and his Baby Cousin, playing a game of racing each other up and down the Cotton Bowl steps.

It was a great day, full of memories! My dad hinted that he would like to be invited next year. I said absolutely! I then explained that anyone who would like to attend with us is welcome and that last year, we even had a Chinese girl who barely spoke English and whom we called Mei Mei, which is "Little Sister" in Chinese. I said everyone is welcome regardless of age, race, or language.

The countdown has begun to next year's State Fair!!

The Quest to Multitask...OR NOT!

2011-11-06T11:18:00.004-06:00

I've never been very good at multitasking. Every place of employment I've ever had has complained that I don't multitask enough. It's not that I can't multitask at all. It's just that society today expects us to accomplish so much in a given day that you must multitask on a very high level. One can't do just two things at a time. One must be able to accomplish three or four things at once. And perfectly at that!

I can do one thing very, very well and efficiently. When you add multitasking with two things, I can get the two tasks accomplished but there will probably be mistakes, and it won't be completed in an efficient manner. Make it three or four things to multitask and disaster awaits. Just sit back and watch the show. This is the area where my previous bosses had issue (all except one that is). I just can't balance three or four tasks at once and not cause a great mess, which of course means even more time to clean up the mess.

Case in point, one night a few weeks ago, we were out till past Snugglebug's bedtime. I was in a hurry to get him to bed before he crashed on the sofa or gained a second wind. The latter is the greatest danger. Not to mention the fact that I was tired and just wanted to sit back and relax.

Snugglebug desperately needed a bath, so I started his bath water. While his bath ran, I thought I would make my shake for the next day's breakfast. It usually just takes a couple of minutes. (Note: two activities at once)

Snugglebug interrupted my shake making with a desire to take his medicine and get his post-med treat of mini M&M's. I never refuse him that request because otherwise I might forget later. (this is activity #3)I drew up his meds and gave him his mini M&M's. Then returned to activity #2, making my shake.

I threw the last ingredient into my shake, put the lid on and pressed the button, giving it a quick whirl before giving it a taste to make sure it was right.

In the midst of taking the lid off to take a taste, I remembered that task #1 was still running. I dropped my spoon and raced into the bathroom.

You may know where this story is going, but think again!

The bathtub had indeed run over! Half the bathroom was flooded with water racing to the carpeted hallway. There was probably about a half inch of water near the bathtub and around the toilet.

I yelled for Snugglebug to bring mommy a towel but received no response. He is usually right on my heals so I was surprised. I raced around the corner where two baskets of unfolded laundry sat, one of which was a load of towels. The entire load of towels were launched into the bathroom floor to create a dam.

About the time the dam was created, I hear an ominous whir coming from the kitchen. I stood up from my dam and yelled, "Noooooooooooooo! Nooooooooooo!" while running at mach speed to the kitchen!

Snugglebug had decided that he was going to help me by finishing my shake. With the lid off, he pressed the mix button. In my mind, I was imagining the worst mess in the history of all motherhood! But, to my surprise, the mess was contained to the counter and the machine with a few splatters each. I honestly don't know how a gargantuan mess was avoided.

I unplugged the blender and hauled Snugglebug to the flooded bathroom. After ensconcing him safely in the bathtub, I proceeded to clean up the floor.

When it was all cleaned up, I sat on the toilet lid and wished I had just focused on one thing at a time. Why is multitasking important anyway? And, WHO, for goodness sakes, overflows a bathtub!

Cleanse: Post-Cleanse Day 1 and Final Thoughts

2011-10-23T15:26:00.005-05:00

I successfully completed the Standard Process Cleanse!! (You can find it on Amazon. Just type in Standard Process Purification Kit)

It was a hard program to stick with but well worth it! I lost seven pounds overall, but remember my goal wasn't to lose a great deal of weight. Most people who wish to lose weight will average 15-20 pounds over the course of the 20 day cleanse. But, don't just go by what the scale says. Measure yourself before your start and when you finish the cleanse. The tape measure will give you a more honest reflection of how you are doing. The program recommends light exercise such as walking or yoga or a little weight lifting for three or four days a week. If you are exercising, you will be exchanging fat for muscle. I was hit and miss with the exercise. I decided today that I need to write a post about why it is difficult for a mom to work out.

I'm a firm believer in the tape measure. Seven pounds doesn't like a lot but in inches it amounts to:
2 1/2 inches lost in the waist
1 1/2 inches lost in the hips
2 inches lost in the mid-section (belly button--the widest part of the belly)

Those inches meant I didn't have to go buy new clothes. Our budget certainly couldn't afford me growing out of my clothes.

I feel much, much better! I am sleeping better and more soundly. I have more energy overall but especially in the mornings due to getting better sleep. I was taking medication in morning and evening for acid reflux and am no longer taking it. The reflux is completely gone! My body PH has stabilized around a somewhat normal level. It is still slightly lower than it should be, but I am getting there. Before the cleanse my body PH was so low that it equated to being slightly higher than stomach acid. No wonder I had reflux!

I am still taking my anti-depressant but that is as much emotional as it is physical. I hope to be off those by the New Year.

My blood sugar has also stabilized. I am pre-diabetic because of bad genes. But, I am hoping to avoid any need for insulin later on by combating the diabetes before it becomes diabetes. I'll be sticking as close to sugar free as I can from now on. I'll also be eating a lot more vegetables than I did before.

I'm still having some asthma issues but certainly nothing like before. I can take a deep breath without issue and don't need my inhalers during the day unless we are near a horse arena (we were at the fair and I needed my inhaler then.) Overall, I think the cleanse has helped my immune system and my breathing quality.

Post cleanse Day one, I find that I really want to keep eating healthy. I ate a chip, and it didn't taste good to me. I also tasted a piece of candy and found it was wayyy too sweet. I hope this keeps up because I likely won't go back to sodas and chocolate. (Well, sodas anyway and candy at least.) I am going to keep drinking a shake for breakfast but I am changing the recipe to a not-so cleanse approved drink. It looks like this:

Ingredients (Makes 1 serving)

4oz V8 Splash Strawberry Banana

1 serving Bluebonnet 100% Whey Protein Powder

1/2 cup, thawed Strawberries

1/2 Banana

4 oz Water

1 tbsp Psyllium Husks (500 mg or 5 g)

1 tbsp Great Value Peanut Butter

Directions
1.Place all ingredients in a blender.

2.Blend till smooth.

The nutrition facts look like this:

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 1 serving (451.9 g)
Amount Per Serving
Calories 349
Calories from Fat 73
Total Fat 8.1g
Saturated Fat 1.5g
Cholesterol 1mg
Sodium 149mg
Total Carbohydrates 43.1g
Dietary Fiber 9.8g
Sugars 26.0g
Protein 30.5g

Vitamin A 51% • Vitamin C 148%
Calcium 3% • Iron 9%
* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

This is not a light shake. It sticks with you courtesy of the peanut butter. The peanut butter also gives me more carbohydrates and protein. I was able to work-out after breakfast and wasn't hungry till noon. No morning snacks were needed. According to Calorie Count, the recipe gets a grade of "B." Of course, my preference is all "A's" but an occasional "B" is okay. I can live with it. It makes for a very hearty and mostly healthy breakfast. I am going to toy with different recipes for breakfast shakes. I like making my breakfast the night before and not having to worry about cooking my breakfast the next morning.

For lunch today, I had a salad that wasn't any different than during the last ten days of the cleanse. I also made an entire bottle of the homemade dressing mix. It is half olive oil and half Bragg's Apple Cider vinegar with some garlic and Italian seasoning. I then poured it into a spritz bottle that I found in the travel section. I can spritz my salad with my own dressing, and I don't have to worry about sodium or chemicals. It is also cheaper!

For dinners, I am not worrying about sticking to the cleanse approved diet. We will still occasionally eat enchiladas and tacos. I am going to try to cut down on the less healthy foods and eat them less often. Afterall, you can't totally cut tacos out of your diet. They are just too yummy! But, you can limit them to once a month or every other month. We will still have menus that include meatloaf and beef stew but the plate will feature three vegetables in large portions leaving less room for the main dish that is not so healthy. My thought is the two will even out in the end. My nutritionist may see it differently so don't quote me. I am not giving advice, merely stating this is what I am going to try.

I'm taking a ton of vitamins now. I am taking pretty much any and all vitamins and even a disgusting colloidal mineral supplement. I am also taking Co-Q 10 which is good for rebuilding and nourishing the cells themselves. Vitamin C is a regular part of my meals. I take 1000 mg with each meal. It is more than the recommended amount but then I have been more sick than is recommended.

The biggest thing I learned is that your should do the cleanse in a month with no special outings, like fairs, no family get together, and no holidays. It is just too hard to do a cleanse while watching everyone else eat delectable dishes. I also think spring or summer is a better time because you can grow your own veggies if you have a porch with some sun or a garden, but you can also find them easier and cheaper at Farmer's Markets and even in the grocery store.

I highly recommend this cleanse. It is pricey! If you can't do this cleanse, then there are other options you can try and get results. I won't say they are the same results since I have no comparison. But I would recommend trying to eat just fruits and veggies for the first ten days and introduce chicken and fish on day eleven. Take lots and lots of fiber supplements and drink a shake for breakfast, making sure your protein powder has a LOT of vitamins and nutrients and no excess fillers, flavors, or chemicals. The goals is to get rid of the chemicals from your body and part of that is not introducing more chemicals.

If you are attempting to get healthy, please let me know. If you found these posts helpful in any way, I would love to hear your story. If you are a Snugglbug fan and wondering where he is in all this. I'll be updating with pictures from the State Fair, Pumpkin Patch, and best of all Occupational Therapy Graduation! I'll post those by next weekend!

Thanks for joining me on my quest! Now, it is your turn! Go get healthy!!

Cleanse: Days 17-20!!!

2011-10-23T15:18:00.002-05:00

As difficult as it was to get through the State Fair, the last four days were even more difficult. I was craving carbs like crazy. It wasn't because I wasn't getting the carbs in my veggies, I think it was just because I wasn't supposed to eat breads, and so forth. It was driving me crazy!

Each meal and each day was a complete battle to stick with it. I kept asking myself if it was worth it or if I really needed three weeks of this. I can honestly say yes, it was worth it and yes, I need three weeks.

I tried to diversify my meals but found that salads made a quick and easy lunch and then dinner I would cook my veggies.

Day twenty presented another very difficult day to stay on task. You would think that by Day twenty it would be easy and a part of me. But, we attended a birthday party (actually two that day) and they were serving BBQ pulled pork and hot dogs. I could smell the BBQ down the block where I had to park. I knew when I stepped out of the car that this wasn't an ordinary party. There were mounds and mounds of pork. And there is nothing I enjoy more than BBQ, unless it is pizza or pie (any kind of pie)! I almost through in the towel right then and there and said what's a few hours! I had only about six more hours left on the cleanse. But, I summoned the will power from somewhere. I honestly think the will power came from knowing I would have to confess my failure to my readers. I did promise to blog about what I ate and to be honest! So, in all honesty, I did not eat any BBQ! I will however be calling the mom today to see if she had any leftovers!

Cleanse: Day 15-16

2011-10-23T14:52:00.002-05:00

Day 15 took us to the Land of Fried Milk and Fried Honey...Otherwise known as the Great State Fair of Texas!

If you are a regular reader of my blog, then you know the State Fair is an event for our family and is rarely missed. In our eight years of marriage, we have only missed one fair and one of our first dates was to the State Fair. We gather as many people who want to go with us, and give them a grand tour of the fair. If you find you don't like the state fair, then you need to go with us. We know all the places to have some free fun and cheap food. We know how to travel the fair and have fun every minute of the day.

The problem with doing a cleanse and attending the fair is that there is literally NOTHING you can eat at the fair and stay on the cleanse. I had a choice. I could either abandon the cleanse for the day and potentially undo everything I had accomplished in the previous fourteen days or I could take all my own food and summon every ounce of will power.

I chose the latter. I am that determined to get healthy! I'll give you the final stats on health, weight, etc in another post.

So, how does one go to the fair and take all their own food? I wish I had an answer for you. Because even though I went to the fair, I found that there is not enough space to carry six cups of vegetables and four ounces of meat and a gallon of water to suffice two meals. Basically, I carried enough for one meal and stored the other meal in an ice chest in the car. While you are allowed to go to and from the fair, it is a very, very long walk from the picnic tables to the parking lot and we parked close.

I managed to choke down my salad and chicken while everyone else pigged out on Fletcher's delectable Corn Dogs!! But, dinner was more difficult. I honestly didn't think we would stay for dinner, but we did. So, I munched on my two ounces of chicken and a couple of apples just to bide my appetite till we got to the car where I ate a salad on the way home.

My will power was waning by evening. My husband and son ate Jimmy Dean sausage sandwiches which are far from healthy but the healthiest thing at the fair and also the cheapest. I tried not to smell the air while they ate. I just munched my cold chicken. I almost lost the day when it was time for ice cream. It is an annual treat to have a nutty bar before leaving for the day. Once again, my husband and son ate their ice cream and I had to help Snugglebug with his. It's tough to maneuver a nutty bar at three. (I'll post State Fair pictures in another post.)While helping him eat his ice cream, I snuck a little chocolate tidbit. It was so good and a big mistake! I just laid my head in my hands and said to my husband who offered very sweetly to go get me one, "that I had made it this far, surely I could muster the will power for a couple more hours." He didn't get me an ice cream and I didn't cheat. I stuck to my cleanse diet! I am very proud of myself for doing that, but I can't say that I will do it again.

Day sixteen and the first day after the fair, I woke starving! I hadn't consumed near enough calories the day before and my body was screaming to make them up today. I ate my shake for breakfast and debated lunch. I was out of spinach so I decided to pop into my favorite and only grocery store in town, Brookshires, after dropping Snugglebug off at school.

I went straight to the veggie section and wound up picking up prepared veggie stir fry mixes. There was a broccoli stir fry, and an Asian stir fry. I also grabbed a package of pre-sliced mushrooms. Typically, I don't waste my money on having someone else prep my food for me. You can buy broccoli for half the price if you shred it yourself. But, I was hungry and not in the mood to prep the amount of food I was wanting to eat.

The final item landing in my basket was a package of Wholy Guacamole. Again, I had never had prepared guacamole. I always made it myself. But, this was ready to eat and so was I.

I came home and tossed it all into skillets with some coconut oil. I spent the entire two hours Snugglebug was at school cooking and eating. In the end, I had eaten almost 500 calories just for lunch and it was all healthy. That is the equivalent to a quarter-pound burger at a fast food place. If I hadn't been so hungry, I would have taken a picture because the plate was piled high. And I cleaned it off!

Dinner that day was leftovers! Leftovers are so nice! Pop them in the microwave and you're ready to eat!

I had grapes for a snack and another shake after dinner. I ate a little less than 1500 calories. I went to bed full and happy! Only Four More Days to Go!!

Cleanse: Days 10-14

2011-10-23T14:40:00.003-05:00

My apologies to my readers. I knew I was behind but didn't realize just how behind! We'll try to catch up in several posts today! (Hopefully!)

For the first ten days, you are pretty much a vegan. You only eats fruits and vegetables and your protein is from rice and lentils. I ate a lot of lentils as I found I needed more protein than what the rice would offer. Sometimes, I would mix the rice and lentils which gave them both a new flavor and texture. I also mixed rice and lentils with veggies into a stir-fry.

I made lots of veggie stir fries during the entire length of the cleanse. I also used a lot of coconut oil for the stir fry. Coconut oil is very, very healthy and great for your hair and skin.

On Day eleven, I could add chicken and fish to my meals! I was more than thrilled. I didn't do anything fancy with it since I am still limited on my ingredients. I made salmon on days eleven and twelve. I bought packages of four frozen salmon patties from Wal-Mart. They are from deep sea but not organic. My budget can only stretch so far. They are about 3-4 ounces and quick and easy to thaw out. I then put a tablespoon of coconut oil in a skillet and browned the fish on each side. If you wait for you oil to get hot, the fish will brown on the outside before cooking in the center. The secret to fish is not to overcook it, but you still want a nice browning on the outside.

I thoroughly enjoyed my fish. The first day, I cut the four-ounce portion in half and also at rice with it. So, I ate two ounces of fish and about a third of a cup of rice. It worked out to a nice amount of protein for the meal. I wasn't hungry all afternoon!

When I cooked chicken, I cooked it in olive oil with a little bit of seasoning and some salt. I ate it either with three servings of vegetables or as a salad topper. I tried to stick to 2 ounces of meat because any more than that and you don't get enough vegetables. On average I ate three cups of vegetables at each meal. I literally piled my plate high with food! My husband found it quite amusing that I was eating as much as I was and still losing weight. The effect of vegetables on the body is absolutely amazing!!

Day fifteen presented some interesting challenges so I'll leave it as it's own blog post...

To be continued...

Cleanse: Days 6-9

2011-10-11T22:40:00.003-05:00

I have successfully made it a full week on my cleanse. To be honest, I am craving pizza and steak. This surprises me since I don't really eat that much pizza and steak. It is an ever once in a long while thing for me. On the other hand, we eat a lot of hamburgers and not once have I craved a burger. I don't know what that means about my current diet, but I expected all cravings to fade by this point.

Days six and seven fell on the weekend. I have a rule about not cooking on Sundays. In fact, I try not to do anything or go anywhere other than church on Sunday. Sundays are meant to rest and rejuvenate. So, that's exactly what I strive to do. with all the leftovers eaten, I ate salads for both lunch and dinner with my vinegar and olive oil dressing. Eating raw was a nice break from all the cooked vegies. I thoroughly enjoyed eating raw broccoli.

Saturday, I did cook. I steamed mostly: cauliflower, green beans, and broccoli. I am having trouble finding recipes for cauliflower and broccoli that aren't full of non-cleanse ingredients like cheese or canned soups. So, I just eat them plain or with a pat of butter. The green beans I tossed in a skillet with a tablespoon of oil from a can of sun dried tomatoes. Then added a couple of tablespoons of sliced sun dried tomatoes. I tossed them a few times till they started brown. This is my favorite way to eat green beans! The combination of the sweet green beans and the tart tomatoes is such a perfect combo.

Both days, I consumed 1200-1300 calories. I have lost a total of five pounds over the course of the first week and lost an inch and a half at the small of my waist and an inch at the belly button. I'm pleased with that. I feel I have detoxed all the extra water weight from all those breathing treatments over the summer. But, I still have two more weeks to go!

Monday was day eight and the beginning of week two. I have less fiber and cleanse pills to take, and I have gotten used to them, so I can swallow them two capsules at a time.

My sweet hubby was down in his back so I spent the afternoon taking him to the chiropractor. So, no time to cook today. I am noticing an interesting trend. Without my crock pots to aid my meals, I am completely hopeless in the kitchen.

Day nine was better. Tuesday, I steamed cauliflower, cooked some more lentils, baked a sweet potato, and washed some broccoli. I ate the latter raw. I like having something in the meal with a different texture. The sweet potato is such a sweet treat. It needs nothing more than butter.

Day ten brought out a crock pot. Yes, my friend helped me cook dinner on the busiest day of our week. I cooked lentil soup with sweet potato and carrots. It also had a lot of chili powder in it. I am not a huge fan of quite so much spice courtesy of acid reflux. Overall, the soup was good and nourishing, just spicy. I also polished off the steamed cauliflower and had some more raw broccoli.

Only twelve more days to go! If you have any good recipes for lentils, broccoli or cauliflower, please share them in the comments section. I'll be happy to give them a try!

Book Review: How To Write a Book Proposal

2011-10-11T22:24:00.002-05:00

I put off writing this review because I was more than a little bit disappointed. As I got passed the first chapter, I was thinking, I've read this book before. And the truth is, I have. This is a 3rd edition. I didn't catch that before.

In the preface, the author lists 14 additions. None of them stand out as worthy of buying another edition if you already have an older edition.

If you are an aspiring writer and have never read this book before, you should read it at least once. I don't know that it matters which edition you read. The first one I read was on the local library's shelves. I'm quite sure this one will be too.

If you have already read this book or purchased a previous edition, don't worry about getting the newest version. It won't help you that much.

Cleanse--Days 3-5

2011-10-08T08:41:00.002-05:00

Wednesday and Thursday were crazy busy days. I barely had time to eat let alone blog. Such is typical. I raced from one appointment to another and from one item on the to-do list to another.

Thursday, I did take some time to sit for a few hours and visit with a good friend. There's nothing like nourishing conversation!

My meals on Wednesday were basically whatever veggies were leftover from previous days. It was pretty much a dab of this and a dab of that with some rice on the side. I wolfed down a few veggies before heading out the door to church on Wednesday night and was hungry when I got home. So, while making a shake for the next morning, I made one for the evening.

Thursday was a dose of salads all day. Not that I mind. I do love a good mixture of veggies! I used the previously mentioned dressing mixture of Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar and Olive Oil. I used pretty much all the veggies I had on my salad including a whole avocado, a whole tomato, carrots, broccoli, and spinach.

Friday, I tried Lentils. I have been putting off lentils because I just don't like them. Or at least the one time I tried them, I didn't like them. I boiled them according to package directions, but then mashed them and added a little bit of butter. They tasted almost like refried beans. I also ate some roasted cauliflower, and a delicious asparagus stir fry.

Stir fries are another thing I do a lot because you can toss so many veggies into one pan. Here's the recipe for the Asparagus Stir Fry:

Ingredients (Makes 3 servings)
1 tbsp Coconut Oil, Refined, Organic

2 cups Asparagus, chopped.

2 medium whole (2-3/5" dia) Tomatoes, Red, Ripe, diced

2 tbsp chopped Onions

0.5 medium raw Bell Pepper Red

2 cloves, raw Garlic

Directions
1.Heat coconut oil.

2.Mince garlic and add to oil. Saute garlic for two minutes.

3.Add onions and bell peppers. Cook for 5 minutes.

4.Add asparagus. Place a lid on the skillet and cook until desired tenderness.

5.Add tomatoes. Thoroughly distribute the tomatoes but don't allow them to cook. They may be a bit warm but still raw and firm.

6.Remove from stove and serve.

You can toss pretty much anything you want into a pan for a stir fry. If it sounds good, toss it in.

I snacked on grapes and an apple during the day, bringing my calorie total to 1300 calories. I've already lost a 1/2 inch in my waste which was gained largely from breathing treatments, steroid shots, and antibiotics. I've also lost about 3 pounds.

Cleanse--Day 2

2011-10-05T08:53:00.001-05:00

The fiber in my new diet caught up to me on day two. If you aren't used to eating a lot of fiber, then you switch to double the amount of recommended fiber, you are going to spend a little extra time in the bathroom. In addition, to the 55 grams of fiber I ate over the course of the day (recommended daily allowance is 25), I am also taking fiber and green veggie supplements as part of the cleanse. If you order the entire package from Standard Process or Amazon, you'll get the capsules in your package. They amount to 10-15 per meal. That's a lot of capsules! I drank at least half my water during the day taking the pills. It is recommended that you take them away from meals. I didn't the first day, but did on day two, and it makes a big difference.My meals were simple but a little more diverse. I hope to get better at this vegetable plate planning as the weeks go on.I had a strawberry-banana-blueberry shake for breakfast with protein powder. I like this much better than the previous day's blackberry. In fact, I like eating a shake for breakfast. It saves time having to actually cook breakfast, and it is ready as soon as I get up.Lunch was a spinach salad. One of my favorites! I eat salads a lot because of the veggie mixture and the ability to get the perfect bite! (see the movie The Mirror Has Two Faces) My salad had cucumber, carrots, tomato and of course spinach. I had avocado but decided to save it for later. My dressing was a tablespoon of Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar and a a tablespoon of olive oil and a dash or garlic. Mix and pour over the salad. It gives it a nice flavor and makes for a great light dressing. Bragg's is also supposed to raise the body's PH, helping it to re-balance intestinal flora.For a snack and to help wash down my pills, I had a small sweet potato early in the afternoon before we headed out to our weekly therapy appointments. The sweet potato stuck with me all afternoon. I didn't get hungry till around 6:00 which is our drive home. I was quite thrilled about that.Dinner was another sweet potato, left over spaghetti squash (no tomatoes today), rice, and avocado. I wasn't able to clean my plate but was completely full! According to Calorie Count I ate 1600 calories but 400 of that was the olive oil from my salad and the butter from my potatoes. Weight loss isn't my goal so fat isn't a bad thing at this time. If you are looking to lose weight, watch those fat grams and make sure your fat comes from good food like avocados and not butter.

Cleanse--Day 1

2011-10-04T19:10:00.000-05:00

Day 1 of my cleanse was uneventful. And, except for the lack of protein, my diet wasn't too much different than what it has been for the past few weeks. It turns out protein is a big part of my diet so I supplemented with other foods. I ate a massive amount of vegetables! I had no idea one could eat so many veggies...And I like veggies but there was a LOT of green on my plate!For breakfast, you start out the day with a shake with protein powder. I made my shake with berries: strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries. The latter was a HUGE mistake! Unless you have a blender that will juice the blackberry seeds then your shake will taste like it has a handful of dirt in it. I was barely able to choke it down. I won't make that mistake again!Lunch was less inventive. Steamed green beans were simple with nothing added to them. I stir fried zucchini with mushrooms in coconut oil. Surprisingly, the coconut oil does not taste at all coconutty. Rice made my protein portion and corn on the cob rounded out my plate. The last one is an unapproved veggie for the cleanse. But left over from Sunday, it was so good I couldn't just throw it out!Dinner was delectable! Roasted tomatoes with garlic and sea salt topped spaghetti squash for a vegan spaghetti and sauce. I smashed the tomatoes with a fork and mixed them into the squash. Butternut squash, rice, and green beans, all with nothing fancy, finished off the meal. A few hours later I was hungry again so after making my shake for the next morning, I snuck about a half cup of the delicious strawberry-banana mixture. I also ate an avocado which was not fully ripe and not very good. But, I assume the nutrients are there nonetheless.Overall, I consumed a little over 1200 calories. I read that a headache was normal on day but other than a low blood sugar headache before lunch, I was fine all day. No issues and nothing unusual. I am using Calorie Count to keep track of nutrients as well as calories. It is fairly easy to use and doesn't take long to log a meal. It then gives you an easy to read graph with your nutrient goals and where you are for the day, giving you an idea of what you need to eat and what you don't.

Depression

2011-10-03T06:00:00.000-05:00

I love Anne of Green Gables. She is always so dramatic and her words resonate with the reader. One phrase she often used was "I am in the depths of despair." While she was upset over the circumstance, I don't think she was really at the very depth of despair for that is the very definition of depression. The despair wreaks like a pair of gym socks but it is so deep you don't even notice the reason for the despair. Sometimes, you don't even realize that you are at the depths of despair. Depression sneaks up on you and overtakes you like a bad head cold.

I didn't know I was depressed til my doctor told me a low dose of anti-depressant would help me get over a constant battle with various infections and viruses. I thought she was crazy but I trust her instincts. I have had a long summer and battled asthma, bronchitis, pneumonia, and an upper respiratory infection caused by strep. My stress level is off the charts! I have one sister going through a very bad divorce, and I've stood by her side all summer long. Then, another sister, who is younger than me died suddenly! She left a gaping whole in my heart. . . and more questions than answers in regards to her death.

I've been on the wonder drug of anti-depressants for three weeks, and I feel like I can actually come out of my cave. I reached a point where all I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head. The very thought of leaving the house left me tranquilized with fear. Fear of what I don't know. But, fear gripped me never the less.

I've spent the last 6 weeks since my sister's death on my knees before God. I've pleaded to be healthy again, pleaded for my family to be healthy again, and pleaded to see my son grow into a man of God. I've learned that to truly worship God is to truly appreciate every moment he has given you and everything he has given you no matter how small or insignificant. Worship doesn't mean you have to sing a praise song. I can't sing! But, I can thank him for every breath that I or my family is allowed to take.

After many hours in prayer, God directed me to a nutritionist. Her brilliant deduction summed up my condition as being tired, worn down, and depleted on a cellular level. Yep! That pretty much nailed it.

I've been gradually changing my diet over the last several weeks and now eat so many vegetables and take so many vitamins that it is unbelievable even to me who loves vegies! She has advised me to do a fruit and vegetable cleanse by Standard Process.

I'll start the cleanse today, and for 7 days will only eat vegies and fruits, vitamins, and lots and lots of water. On the 8th day, I can add protein like organic chicken and fish like Salmon. The Quest is to be healthy! So, like all my other quests of motherhood, I'll take you along for the ride. While I am not a recipe blogger, I will try to give you an idea of what I am eating. It'll keep me honest as well!

My posts will be a day behind so I can completely sum up the day.

Why, Yes, Doctor, You are right.

2011-08-05T19:38:00.002-05:00

On a good day, my days are 13 1/2 hours long. They start at 6 am with a banshee howl. While I would like to hit the snooze and get five more minutes, they call that child abuse. The banshee is my child, either in the crib or standing at the end of the hall, screaming a blood curdling scream like he has woke up in the twilight zone. He's done it since birth, so I am somewhat used to it, but it still wakes me with a start.

I crawl out of bed in hopes that the banshee hasn't woke my poor night-shift-working husband. Nope, too late. The banshee woke him, too. I stumble to the bedroom and rescue the screaming banshee who is now chanting, "Oto, Oto, Oto." For those of you who don't have three-year old Secret Agent Oso is all the rage right now. I have about 15 on our DVR.

After squinting at the TV, I finally manage to get "Oto" turned on, and the chant then becomes, "Oa'meal. Oa'meal. Oa'meal." While generally, I am glad that my child can now communicate, the chanting gets a little old at 6 or 6:30 am.

On a good day, I turn in my mommy badge in favor of the housekeeping apron after about 13 1/2 hours of chanting, games, giggles, therapy trips, doctor's appointments, and time-out sessions, etc.

Today, wasn't necessarily a good day. It began almost 15 hours ago at 5:30 am with the banshee howl, and is ending with a bad case of heartburn. I didn't think it was acid reflux till I went to the pulmonologist to find out why I couldn't breathe in the evenings. It seems that reflux triggers asthma which is the diagnosis and the problem.

"Do you have reflux?" The doctor asked.
"No, I don't."
The doctor frowned and furrowed his brows, and now that I know what reflux is and that what I am really feeling is heartburn, I have to tell him he was right. It is heartburn.

My heartburn is triggered by an obstinate three-year old who insists on wreaking havoc on the last three to four hours of the day. It begins while I am cooking dinner, and he is asking to eat anything and everything.

"No, you can't have cookies. We are eating in a little bit."
"No, you can't have crackers. We are eating in a little bit."
"No, you can't have chocolate. We are eating in a little bit."
"No, No, No."

Once, dinner is on the table. The next round begins. He refuses to sit at the table. At first he pretends to ignore me. Then he proceeds to indicate in his non-verbal way that he wants to eat in front of the TV.

"No, you can't eat in the living room. The rule is: we eat dinner at the table."

Followed by round three: On a good evening, he will sit at the table without eating staring out the window, never even tasting the food. On a bad evening, he will throw a fit and try to toss his plate, leading to an all out battle to sit at the table. My meal ends up being eaten cold and between time-out sessions for throwing his plate or climbing out of his chair. If he ever tastes, the food, he finds he likes it and eats dinner. But, sometimes, his preference is chocolate and crackers for dinner and never relents to eating what I've cooked.

Round four is the bedtime routine. If there is a bath involved it brings the night routine to a whole new level as he HATES baths. If not a bath, then we battle over putting on the pajamas which usually means chasing him down and taking away privileges like reading a bed time book if he doesn't change. Teeth brushing is just as much a battle. If he has by chance kept the book reading privilege, then that is threatened once again. If he loses that, then we move on to losing rights to play with certain toys the next day. We rarely have to move beyond the loss of his train set.

Once teeth are brushed, jammies are on, we read a few books, assuming he still has that privilege. Then, it is lights out. And since, we are transitioning to the twin bed, we have the next battle. Staying in bed. If he doesn't stay in bed, then he is moved back to the crib across the room from his twin bed. At least three or four nights a week, within fifteen minutes of lights out, the lights are back on, and he is playing in the floor. So back to the crib for him.

By 8PM, I have heartburn, a headache, and can barely breathe. Why, yes, doctor, you are right. I do have heartburn. I was just too unplugged to realize what it was. I was more plugged into the havoc my three-year old is creating during the last three or four hours of the day.

God bless the creator of antacids and asthma inhalers.

Crib to Toddler Bed, part 1

2011-07-24T08:34:00.000-05:00

Milestones are giant mountains for us. Dragging Snugglebug to and over a milestone can be a frustrating process. The advice of so many to not worry about a milestone is completely false when you have a neuro-atypical child.

If I had waited for my son to speak and never enrolled him in speech therapy, he would still be squealing, and certainly, not talking and putting two words together. I could go down the list just like this for each and every milestone between birth and now, but that would be monotonous. You can just read past blog postings.

The current milestones are no less mountainous. Moving from a crib to toddler bed has been more than a little frustrating. Potty training has been disastrous thus far. And the transition to summer school was a complete failure.

We attempted moving from crib to toddler bed in the spring. We have one of those awesome convertible cribs and took apart the front portion to turn it into a toddler bed. It was a momentous occasion. I was nervous with his sleep issues, but with him crawling out of the crib, I knew it was time.

I spent every night for the next three weeks battling him to keep him in bed. For three hours every night from 7pm to 10 pm. He would crawl out of bed and come down the hall. I would pick him up and put him back in bed. I followed all of Supernanny's rules. I didn't say a word. No kisses. No hugs. Just back to bed. At 10pm, he would finally fall asleep. And, so would I . . . from complete exhaustion. We would repeat this process at 2 or 3 am for an hour or so.

I was not a happy camper. When my alarm went off at 6am, I had no desire to see dawn break. In fact, I wanted to sleep all day.

I would stumble out of my room, half asleep, and literally trip over my son who would be sleeping somewhere in the floor. We found him sleeping in the kitchen, using the step stool as a pillow, in the hallway outside his room, in the walkway between our room and the kitchen, in the floor of his room next to his bed, and leaning against his doorway of his room (yes, standing but sound asleep).

My Facebook friends found it quite entertaining to see where I would find him each day. I wasn't quite so entertained.

A little research later and I found a store that carried a Crib Tent and new plan was born. After three weeks, I threw in the towel, put the crib back together, and put a crib tent over the top. He was trapped, and I could get some sleep.

This story would be continued but at a later date...

Blessings In Disguise, Part 1

2011-07-19T21:55:00.005-05:00

We all know the adage about viewing a glass as either half full or half empty. The jest of the adage is that we can see what is front of us as a blessing or as curse.

A recent glass half full blessing was presented to me as I suffered from a horrible asthma attack. My floors took revenge on me and after scrubbing every nook and cranny, the fumes overwhelmed me and I couldn't breathe. My husband took me to the doctor where I was given a steroid shot, a breathing treatment and a chest x-ray. The doctor scratched his head not really understanding why I had such a sudden reaction when I've never had such a reaction.

Later, I saw my primary car physician and discussed it all at length with her. I had 24 hours to think about it. Being a holiday, the first doctor was at the fantastic CareNow facility. As I sat with my doctor, I outlined breathing issues that I have had my entire life and that as a rule I stay away from strong chemicals. She concluded that I have had asthma my entire life but never had an issue because I learned my triggers and stayed away from them.

She sent me home with a nebulizer and breathing treatments. And I spent the rest of the week and part of the next laying around the house, watching TV and napping when Snugglebug napped.

I could easily view this is a glass half empty and moan and groan about my new diagnosis of asthma, but instead I see it as a blessing in disguise. I would have never known that I had asthma and needed to be especially careful in certain situations if I had not had this asthma attack. I, now, have an inhaler in my purse and know the symptoms of an asthma attack and when to use the inhaler. Interestingly enough, I have had these symptoms in the past, especially around cigarette smoke but the situation always corrected itself after I removed myself from the carcinogen.

I've also never been able to run or jog because I would start wheezing and coughing. This was always so disappointing because I was told this was my fault for not breathing correctly. Really! I didn't realize one needed to take a class to learn how to breathe. I thought it was automatic. Either you did or you didn't! Nevertheless, I took the blame. Now, I know the problem wasn't my lack of understanding of breathing but asthma. And, now, I can treat it.

On my bucket list is a half marathon. With this new diagnosis, I believe I actually have a shot at being able to breathe for the entire 13 miles, not to mention all the miles involved in training.

One of Many Differences Between Boys and Girls

2011-07-17T21:52:00.005-05:00

Snugglebug snuck out of bed after I tucked him in and loaded his bed up with his favorite Matchbox cars. I believe I would not be wrong in saying that girls sleep with their stuffed animals and baby dolls, but boys sleep with their cars and trucks.

The Economy: A Layman's Perspective

2011-07-14T07:44:00.003-05:00

While the news media, politicians, and the President are telling us the economy is improving, I'm having a difficult time seeing it from where I am sitting in the great state of Texas. Allow me to explain from my position as an untrained economist.

Every week someone from my friends list on Facebook announces a job loss. Sometimes, the spouse is able to pick up extra hours and make up the difference. Other times, they have a trade that allows them to quickly find a new job. But, many remain out of work. It has almost become an unspoken rule that if you run across a job (that you will not be applying for) that you share it with your friends on Facebook. Unfortunately, the job posts are as rare as the job loss announcements are common.

With each out of work person, the family must cut the budget to meet the new income level. Contrary to the news media's analysis, this doesn't make for a recovering economy. How do I know this? I am by no means a trained economist. But, experience can be a great teacher.

We learned yesterday that my husband lost one of his jobs. Yes, he works more than one. When you have a special needs child, the medical bills are insurmountable. I'm not at liberty to go into the amount of bills my son accumulates each year but to give you a hint he is three years old and just had his fourth major surgery. He will have his fifth surgery by year's end.

With the loss of one job means the loss of a third of our income. We must cut our household budget by one third. We were not living extravagantly but definitely did not have a tight budget. With the loss of salary, there will be no more eating out, no more movies, no more lattes, no books, no crafting supplies, no more driving that is not absolutely necessary, no more cookies and ice cream in the grocery cart, and I will return to the use of coupons to save every penny possible. My trusted travel companion, my SUV, will remain parked in the driveway. We can't afford to fill the tank with today's gas prices approaching $4 a gallon. Instead, my husband and I will share the economy car.

Now, here's your challenge: How many retailers will be hit by our job loss? How much money will no longer be added to the local economy? And to add to your numbers, my husband wasn't the only one laid off his job. There were others. So, add their income, budget cuts, and the retailers affected to the list.

We know numerous teachers have lost their jobs due to school districts cutting their budgets. We also know that Blockbuster (a distributor is in our area) laid off a lot of employees recently. We were enjoying Chili's burgers recently when half the restaurant was filled with employees who lost their jobs that very day. They were "celebrating" life one last time before going home to cut their budgets to their new income level. How many retailers were affected by the jobs lost at Blockbuster alone?

Despite the push to blame the business owner, large or small, for not hiring workers and for laying them off. The true blame should be placed on government as a whole. Budget talks are going on right now on Capital Hill and to no avail. My husband and I cut all non-essentials from our budgets when income drops. Capital Hill must do the same. I can name numerous budget items in the city that employs my husband that should have been cut from the budget as non-essential items. I mean, really, do we need a brand new bridge that runs parallel to an existing bridge with no problems whatsoever. According to the city, we do. Why? Because the old bridge isn't pretty and the new one will be. I could go on and on just about this one city. In the end, they cut my husband's salary and all the other city employees' salaries by five percent and gave them unpaid days off. I rather doubt one bridge will add as much stimulus to the economy as thousands of employees in the city.

I'm sure there are many more examples nationwide and on Capital Hill. When government cuts the non-essentials out of their budgets, then maybe we can add the non-essentials back into our budget thus boosting the economy.

The Irony of Life

2011-06-24T21:38:00.004-05:00

I appreciate the irony of life. It is what makes the world turn. Without it, everything would be completely and totally boring.

But, in this case, irony has me beating my head against the wall and kicking myself. To fully understand the irony, let's backtrack to last year and my wonderful adoration of all the hummingbirds visiting my feeders. I had three different types of hummingbirds visiting my feeders on a regular basis. I identified two of the varieties but the third I couldn't identify. I took pictures and compared them to website photos and databases. I spent all winter researching hummingbirds and looking for this incredibly small species. This hummingbird was about half the size of the black-chinned and ruby-throated varieties that I had already identified. And there were no hummingbirds of that size in our region. The only one even remotely matching the description resides in Montana and never leaves the mountains. I found it impossible to believe that a mountainous species would survive the 100 degree plus temperatures of Texas.

With the advent of spring, I no longer had time to research the hummingbird, so waited for it to make its appearance this year for a better look. For the record, I have not yet seen this tiny species this year.

Fast forward to today, I had not been to my garden in several days. Due to all that has been going on, my garden was in great need of attention. After dinner, Snugglebug and I ventured out to the garden so I could see what all needed to be done after he went to bed. I immediately noticed my tall, lush tomato plants were mere stems. This disturbed me, but being a life-long farm-girl, I knew the work of a hornworm when I saw it. It didn't take me but a moment to find the fat culprit lounging on a naked stem. Then, I found a second and a third hornworm.

After putting Snugglebug to bed, I went straight out to my garden (baby monitor in hand) to search for any more tomato eating fiends. What began with three worms became ten then twenty. At twenty-five hornworms, I called my friend, Liz, and said, "You're not going to believe this!" She did and hung up so she could go check her tomato plants. The final count was 28 hornworms on three tomato plants! I would have taken a picture but the sight of them turned my stomach, and I would hate to run off my readers with such a sight.

After plucking the worms and depositing them in a large (very large) pickle jar, I turned on the sprinklers and came inside to do some research.

I first wanted to know what type of moth the hornworm became so I could make sure to spray it with Raid the next time I saw one. I also wanted to know what the pupae looked like and what ate it so I could prevent the hornworm ever reaching my tomato plants.

I learned that the hornworm becomes a moth that when in flight looks like a hummingbird. It eats nectar just like a hummingbird, feeds on flowers just like a hummingbird, has the same long tongue, and from a distance looks like an extremely small hummingbird. The photos and the description on all the websites matched the unknown hummingbird from last year. I sat in complete astonishment. Last year, I had been feeding and marveling at a moth, not a bird. Last year, I had been feeding the moth that would lay the eggs and become a hideous larvae known as the hornworm that was now eating my tomato plants.

The irony is too much to bear. And while I typically admire irony and say, "My hat's off to you for pulling that one off," today, I say, "cussword, cussword, cussword."

Take a close look...No, closer

2011-06-11T20:47:00.001-05:00

So, this lovely lady has taken up residence in our backyard, beyond my garden.

She is a Killdeer. She is ground nesting bird who has a very sad sounding chirp. She makes an even more distressing broke wing limp when you get too close to her nest. The idea is that the ground dweller will be led away by the enticing thought that the injured bird will be easily caught. She will lead the prey quite a ways away before taking flight. She then makes sure the prey is far from her nest before she returns.

Here's a picture of the nest.
Oh, you don't see it. Well, that's the way it's meant to be. I searched at least an hour this afternoon and could not find her nest. This evening while working in my garden, I kept a close eye on the little bird and followed her visually back to her nest. Even with a reference point, I had a tough time finding the nest. It blends in with the ground so well that one could literally step right over it and never see it.

Here's another photo of the nest. Take a close look at this photo then go back and take a closer look at the photo above.

Now, do you see it.

Here's one last, even closer, look at the nest and eggs. Can you see how they would be lost even though they sit right out in the open? Amazing! Simply Amazing!

PS For those who would like to see a better view of the little bird (I don't have a long camera lens.) click this link to a Wikipedia photo.

We Have Sentences, People!

2011-06-10T19:10:00.002-05:00

We had our first sentences, today! They were only two word sentences but subject verb just the same. Prior to this we have had a lot of two word combos but more like adjective noun or a please attached to a noun or a name attached to a request.

What were the sentences you ask? I'm so glad you did!

Wot dis! (interpreted: Watch This!) While climbing over the sofa (that's another post)

i bo. (interpreted: It Broke) Referring to a nickel yo-yo he received from a recent birthday party as a party favor.

Only 6 months ago, we had our first verbal words. He still signs and most of the time will sign one word and say the other word. Other times he signs and says the word both. Most of the time the word is only the first consonant which renders the spoken word useless without the sign. His verbal speech has surpassed his signs though, so at times there is frustration when he can't get across what he is talking about. We are working on that! My husband and I are taking a class in sign language with the goal of being able to communicate with him via sign and teach him the same way verbal communication is taught. We are well on our way with an excellent teacher!

The Quest for Encouragement: The Church's Part

2011-05-26T11:46:00.003-05:00

A friend on Facebook, recently, posted a link to an article, titled "How to Find a Good Church". It is less about how to find a church and more about what a good church looks like. It is a fantastic article, and I chose to share it with my friend's list.

There was one line in the article that drew particular interest to me and has sparked a bit of conversation. Conversation is always good, especially when it involves children with special needs and their families.

Half-way into the article, the author states, "The tragedy of modern Christianity is that when members of the body hurt, too often we relegate them to finding resources outside the walls of the church. " The article is not necessarily referring to families who have special needs children but to hurts in general. But, the statement still holds true. Within my own county in Texas, I can name only one church that has teachers who are trained to work with children who are deaf, autistic, or who have various delays. There are a few churches who provide interpreters for the deaf but that's a whole other blog post.

The question of starting a ministry in this area arose in our conversation, but I think it is more about attitude and education than ministry. I'm not sure what type of ministry would be specifically set-up outside of the typical support groups. It is more about an overall attitude of both the membership and the church's leadership of acceptance, encouragement, and education. It may not be cancer but 7q11.23 duplication can be very trying, frustrating, and even heart breaking.

I know the same is true for families who have down syndrome, autism, and other genetic disorders. One person told me recently, "Raising a child with special needs is a lonely job." It shouldn't be. The church should be surrounding them with encouragement and prayer. Members of the church should be the one of the first to educate themselves on the disorder, not to mention be there with constant encouragement.

This is not to say I, personally, don't have educated and encouraging friends. I do. But sadly, I can count on one hand those who have personal knowledge of my trials and are willing to be a shoulder to cry on and a voice of encouragement when I need it most.

But, so you don't feel like I am singling out the church, the same is true even within family. It is hard for family members to accept that a child does not meet the same norms as their other nieces, nephews, cousins, or grandchildren. It is easier to just ignore the issues. It is also hard for some within family to listen because they feel it is more about attention-getting than anything else. Acceptance within family is difficult on so many levels, and I am not the one to even begin unraveling the psychology behind that. There are others much more qualified.

The purpose of this post is to merely say that families with special needs children need more encouragement than the typical family. You don't have to provide answers. You don't even need to fully comprehend the issues at hand. You don't need a special degree or a ministry leader. All you need is a merciful and caring heart and a listening ear. Sometimes all we need is someone to hear our story or let us talk through our emotions without those emotions being dismissed. Our children may not be dying but it is an emotional journey all the same.

*Note: If you want a better glimpse into the emotions of a parent with special needs, I invite you to read Amsterdam International. Written by Dana Nieder, the mother of a child with an undiagnosed genetic disorder, she explains what it is like to land where you least expect it and just how frustrating and lonely it can become.

You can also read my article, The Quest for Encouragement: Are You in the Airport or Not?

Book Review: Story Engineering

2011-05-25T12:26:00.000-05:00

I loved this book! If you are a fiction writer of any type, then this book is for you. Larry Brooks an author himself writes about more than just the basics of a good character or conflict. He delves into the deeper aspects of what it takes to create a good character and a good conflict. He tells you what the reader expects, the editor expects, and what you should expect from your writing. He uses examples from well-known books, TV shows, and movies. He doesn't stick with just one genre of movie or book to prove his point.He pulls from all genres to show just how important the information is.

Divided into eight parts, the author details what he calls "Six Core Competencies" as well as an opening chapter explaining why this book is different than all the others you have previously read on writing(And yes, it is!), and the final chapter which talks about the development process and pulls everything all together.

As I read this book, I began to see the holes in my own writing. I haven't been able to figure out why I wasn't happy with my characters and my stories but now it is plain as day as though a doctor sat down and diagnosed my problems.

I give this book 5 stars. It will be one that I read more than once.

We've Come A Long Way, Baby!

2011-05-18T16:08:00.002-05:00

We have past yet another milestone. This one won't be on your growth charts. And, really, it shouldn't be called a milestone but a mile marker.

We have just finished surgery #4 on our little Snugglebug. This particular surgery wasn't anything serious. It was just tubes in the ears and adenoids out. I say "just" but no surgery is "just" a surgery. Every surgery is a big deal as it requires IV's and anesthesia and knives and exposure to dozens of different types of 'cocuses. Surgery is a scary thing for anyone of any age. For a mommy to send her little one away with a bunch of strangers to be cut on and exposed to 'cocuses this is no easy thing. Stress abounds!

But, this surgery was a milestone in that after four surgeries you know pretty well what to expect, how to handle it, and how to deal with the stress. The stress is still there but you learn how to handle it.

Snugglebug's first surgery was at seven months of age. He had to have surgery on a lazy eye. His lid was literally sown open so he could see. The procedure is way more complicated than that. It's called Ptosis. You can google it if you are really interested, but I won't bore you with the details. I was a nervous wreck the day of the surgery. I had no idea what to bring to the hospital and even though I was told it would take less than half an hour, I packed to stay at the hospital for days.

The worst part of that first surgery was afterwards. Not knowing what was happening or why he was feeling so out-of-it, Snugglebug cried inconsolably for well over an hour. We were at a loss as to how to help him.

Surgery #4 was different than the first in so many ways. We've come a long way in three years! I was calm as could be. I prepared Snugglebug the night before by telling him he had an early morning doctor's appointment and that we would leave before he could eat breakfast. I left out the part about the hospital. Once we were at the hospital, he knew exactly what he was there for and wasn't happy about it at all. I wasn't worried at all about this. Even at three, he has a right to express his opinion on the subject.

After the surgery, my little man seemed to know exactly what he was feeling and why. The anesthetic was wearing off and he was waking up. He cried and fussed but not much. He was woozy but seemed to be focusing internally to gather his wits about him. Knowing my child as I do, I just stayed close to his bed. (My child doesn't like to be held when he is sick. That's a whole other post.) As he became more aware of his surroundings, he finally decided he wanted his Daddy. Once he was in his daddy's arms, he relaxed and drifted in and out of sleep.

There was no inconsolable crying. Snugglebug has traveled this road as well. Despite his young age, he has learned so much about surgeries and how to handle them. It is at times like this that I wish I could crawl into his brain and hear his thoughts. I would like to know what he has learned.

I could go on and on about what I have learned about surgeries, hospitals, the bills that go along with both, and so on. Surgery #4 is a milestone because we have learned that for us this is part of life. We have learned how to handle the stress, the frustration, and the bills. And that's not just my husband and I, that goes for Snugglebug as well. He has learned so much!

By evening, my child was back to normal. You would never know he had had surgery eight hours earlier. He was running and playing like always.

I am so full of emotion that I can't even begin to put it into words. We have past such an incredible mile marker. It is not one that I would hope everyone would achieve, but for us it registers a long list of invaluable lessons that we have collected over the course of four surgeries. Words don't convey how proud I am of Snugglebug who has learned all this on his own. Words don't convey how proud I am of my husband and myself for learning how to lean on one another and work as a team in times like this. Words do not convey the lessons we have learned and will rely on even when we are not walking into a surgery.

It is odd that at the end of the day, as I reflect, I consider this to be normal for us. It is not a big deal, and it is just another surgery. The milestone we have crossed is called acceptance. Acceptance is a huge milestone for special needs parents.

We've come a long way, and it has only been three years! What could possibly be waiting for us over the next fifteen!

Social Stories

2011-04-26T07:10:00.002-05:00

Recently, I wrote a very long post on Snugglebug's anxiety. We have started two things that I hope to impact his anxiety. Only time will tell if they work.

The first thing we started was the use of social stories. Social stories are short, descriptive stories with pictures to help the child visualize an event and explain what is going to happen. For Easter, I made a social story using scrapbook graphics. I love digital scrapbooking so I used the same concept for the social story.

We then read the story about hunting Easter eggs, what to do with the eggs, and what to do when we saw our friends. Snugglebug loved it and even asked me to read it after the egg hunt.

Once at the egg hunt, he was excited. There was no visit from the evil anxiety until the kids began to crowd into the starting area before the egg hunt. I could feel the tension increasing as the kids crowded around him and began invading his personal space (personal space is a whole other post). I whispered the words from the story in his ear, "We are happy to see our friends." He began to relax and seconds later the whistle signaling the craziness sounded. Snugglebug took his time gathering eggs and enjoyed every minute of the ten minute egg hunt. He walked away with a dozen and a half eggs. I walked away with a smile on my face. I don't know if we can attribute the social story to helping him to deal with his anxiety but it was enough that I am now making social stories for other upcoming events.

(For those interested in social stories, there are several websites that were very helpful. I'll post them at the end of this article.)

The second addition to our anxiety fighting battle is a visual scheduling system for each day and week. Using Picture Exhange Cards with velcro on the back, we attach the cards to a laminated piece of cardstock. We list the events of the next day with the PECS, and walk through those events the night before and again the next morning. We have just started this system so I hope it works as well as I have imagined.

We also have a laminated weekly calendar with the days of the week. We check off each day of the week and if there is a special event we mark it on the calendar so he can see it coming. He seems to like it.

I'll let you know if all this works to help curb his anxiety. I have no doubts that anxiety will still stage an unwarranted attack, but hopefully those attacks will be less in number.

Anxiety Attacks

2011-04-13T10:05:00.004-05:00

Anxiety is a horrible and invisible enemy. It sneaks up on the victim when they least expect it. It's even worse when the victim is a child who can't comprehend or explain their feelings.

Along with 7q11.23 duplication comes a horrible level of anxiety. For some children, the anxiety is so high that it interferes with their social life and behavior, thus leading to past misdiagnosis of autism.

Snugglebug has this anxiety. On the scale of anxiety connected to 7q11.23 duplication, it is on the lesser end. But, on the scale of a nuero-typical three-year old, it is on the high end.

I cannot predict when the anxiety attacks will occur. I don't even know what to do when they do occur except reassure him that we will get through the situation together.

We had two incidents recently that seem to be similar in circumstance.

First, I took my train enthusiast to see Thomas the Train and ride a life-size train. Upon seeing the train, he squealed in delight and took off running toward the train. He was excited beyond belief. We arrived earlier than our boarding pass time so we had time to kill in the bounce house, etc. But, he wasn't interested! He only wanted to ride the train.

Finally, boarding time arrived, and we stood in line to board the train. But, as we approached the train's entrance, panic set in. I could feel him becoming tense but when the panic set in full force, he took off. He left my side and ran down the gang plank, away from me and the train. Fortunately, we were surrounded by understanding parents who cleared a path for me as I chased after him. I caught him pretty quick and hoisted his thrashing body up and back to our spot in line. The anxiety was just too much for him. When fight or flight overtook him, he chose flight.

Once on the train, he calmed down as I talked him through what was about to happen. He was still tense but seemed a little more composed. He made it through the train ride with flying colors. No more attempts at escape. He even climbed off the train by himself. I have no idea if he enjoyed the train ride. The downside of a non-verbal child is not knowing what they are feeling--Good or Bad.

The second incident was similar to the train. His little pre-school class took their first field trip. The eight students and two teachers were to ride the bus to the local library where they would read stories and sing songs. While we talked about it all weekend, the whole thing was new to Snugglebug and anxiety set in again.

The bus rolled up and the other students boarded gleefully, but Snugglebug had a complete meltdown. He was thrashing and crying. I carried him onto the bus and tried to talk to him, but he wasn't hearing me. I sat with him for a little while till he calmed down and was at least breathing again. I explained over and over again what needed to happen and that they were going to have a lot of fun. I finally slid him into the seat but he began crying once again. As I buckled his seat belt, he cried harder and louder. I fought back the tears that were forming and continued to reassure him.

His anxiety had not subsided when I left the bus and the teacher took my place next to him. I smiled and waved as the bus pulled out of the parking lot, but once it was out of site. I fell apart. Big, nasty, crocodile tears poured down my cheeks as I stood there all alone in the parking lot.

I prayed to God to look after my little boy and comfort him because I couldn't. Climbing into my car, I wiped the tears and cried some more. Moments later, I received a text from his teacher with a not-crying photo of Snugglebug. Before they were around the block, he had stopped crying and was enjoying the view from the bus window. I couldn't tell from the photo if he was happy or not, but at least I knew the anxiety had subsided enough that the tears had stopped.

I was extremely grateful to his teacher for letting me know that he was okay. Thoughtful teachers are a great gift to parents as well as students.

Upon returning from the library, Snugglebug had no issues boarding the bus and was excited to see it pull into the parking lot (all relayed to my by his teacher). Since then, he has asked about riding the bus almost everyday. We may actually consider the bus for summer school. It looks like this fear may be well conquered.

A Lesson in Humility

2011-04-13T09:55:00.002-05:00

I learned a lesson in humility the hard way. A friend of mine even pointed it out so that I sure not to miss the lesson.

Recently, I posted about my son's good health despite all his internal health issues that are completely unrelated to his immune system. I bragged that while I caught everything, he didn't. No sooner than that was posted than my lesson began.

Snugglebug had been in school for an entire week. At the end of the week, we celebrated with a trip to the park. That evening I noticed a cough but attributed it to allergies. The next morning we were headed to the pediatrician, and he was diagnosed with croup. Just as croup should it lasted three or four days with a couple of bad nights of sleep and a really nasty sounding cough. Since, his school week is Tuesday through Thursday. I wasn't even expecting him to miss school. But, on Monday night his fever spiked the highest it had been all weekend and his cough was back and worse than ever.

I learned the next morning that we should have made a trip to the ER. Our pediatrician was kind and non-judgmental about it. She simply said, "Let's talk about what to do next time." And having a seat walked me through the symptoms, the steps in making a decision to go to the ER, and where to take him should I decide it was necessary. It was all a learning experience and I was grateful for an understanding doctor who was willing to educate me.

Unfortunately for Snugglebug, his croup had turned into pneumonia. He was given some fairly stout antibiotics and sent home with a note that he would be out of school all week. All week he was ill with his fever going up and down. I was worried sick!

Ten days later, my sweet little boy was finally feeling like himself again, and I learned a lesson in humility.

Book Review: Thank You, God, for Mommy

2011-03-20T19:59:00.004-05:00

Thank you, God, for Mommy is written by Amy Parker and published by Thomas Nelson Publishers. This adorable board book has a lovely text talking about all the reasons that a child loves mommy. The text is rhythmic and reads smoothly and easily. The illustrations, drawn by Frank Endersby, are just as pleasant as the text and tell an even deeper story than the words itself. A mommy panda and a baby panda are illustrated throughout the book demonstrating the deep love between a mother and child. They are very well done and for the adult who will be reading the book ten thousand times, they will see new things each time the book is read. The illustrations are just that good. They are almost a story within a story.

I give this book 5-stars. It is a great book for children from birth to 4-years. The text is short enough even for the shortest attention span. The illustrations are interesting enough to keep in the older readers interested.

Book Review: God’s Promises Devotional Journal

2011-03-08T13:46:00.002-06:00

Published by Thomas Nelson Publishers, this book is a lovely hardback book with lovely raised letters and a leaf design on the cover. The overall look is very impressive.

On the inside are short, less than a half page and some are less than a quarter page, devotions written by some well-known theologians and some not-so-well-known writers. The writers are both male and female so the book will appeal to both male and female readers.

Below each day’s devotion is a question related to the devotion and a lined section for writing your thoughts. The questions and the devotions they are related to are very thought provoking.

The idea of a devotional and a journal all in one book is a great idea. It is a great way to keep your thoughts a faith in check. The devotionals aren’t so long that you take up all your time reading them and trying to decipher them. Instead, they are short, concise, and easy to digest. They are relate-able, making the task of applying the devotional to your own life easy.

I would recommend this book to anyone who loves to journal. I also think it would be great for a college student or a new Christian. The dual devotional and journaling will help both individuals to check their lives and make sure they are following Christ on a daily basis.

I give this book 4-stars and not 5-stars, only because I would like to have seen each devotion build on the previous one. The devotions are very stand-alone which is not a good thing since they are dated and you want to keep your reader/journaler focused on the task at hand.

Book Review: The Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley

2011-03-08T13:40:00.002-06:00

The Principle of the Path is a unique self-help book. While one would expect the usual self-help list of ways to get your life on track and as the subtitle says “to get from where you are to where you want to be.” It isn’t. There are no steps and no real process. Instead, Stanley lays out a Biblical principle to help any person regardless of whether their life in on track or not to determine if they are on the right path.

The principle is simple.... “Attention determines direction. Direction determines destination.” Stanley uses lots of scripture to show how God illustrates this principle throughout the Bible.

After reading this book, I can see this principle throughout my own life and the lives of others. Stanley compares the Principle of the Path to the Principle of the Harvest as well as scientific principles that we all know to be true. He argues that whether we agree with the principle or not it rules our life, wherever we focus our attention that will determine our direction and thus the destination. He uses a lot of illustrations about driving which make a lot of sense but also make it difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t read the entire two or three page story.

Stanley uses lots of personal stories to illustrate his point. At times the stories seem to have very little to do with his point and one has to wade through a page or two before seeing the point of the story. His stories can also be a bit wordy.

While the points and philosophy of the book make lots of sense, it takes Stanly two chapters to get to the actual principle of the path. One has to be willing to hang in there before actually learning anything. I would prefer that he get to the point and explain the principle up front in the first chapter then launch into why we need to heed the principle.

I give this book 4-stars for the principle and the use of scripture, but I give it 3-stars for writing and staying on task. Reading this book is like listening to a genius with ADD. He has brilliant points but it is hard to follow the seemingly random chain of thoughts.

School Days--Part 1

2011-02-23T14:56:00.000-06:00

We have entered that brave and scary world of public education! Fraught with frustration and anxiety, the process for special ed is nothing short of mind bending. There were days when we actually considered putting our house on the market and moving. And that's saying a lot because we LOVE where we live.

We live in a small town and this is their first year to have a special education program. Needless to say, there are still a few quirks to work out on their end. To their credit, things ended up working out for the best for everyone involved.

From the beginning it seemed like Snugglebug was being placed in the same category as most people place him. Afterall, he looks healthy. On the outside, he doesn't seem to have any problems. He's just quiet. Right? The initial evaluation did not go well to say the least. We picked up on attitudes that just didn't seem to understand why we were there in the first place. Questions seemed to be leading, and the reasons for Snugglebug's use of sign language was questioned. We left feeling completely dejected and we prepared to fight for a place in the program.

In the end, they analyzed all his records and came to a much better understanding of who Snugglebug is as a person. We were surprised to see the change in attitude.

They opted to place Snugglebug in a brand new class which had only been started a month earlier. This class is purely experimental and completely outside the box of most other special ed programs. The one goal of this new class....To teach speech to children with severe speech issues. Using the same tools as any other preschool classroom, games, music, story books, puzzles, Play Doh, crayons, etc, they encourage speech from the children. It seemed like a perfect fit for Snugglebug except for one concern. We were adamant that Snugglebug have an interpreter and that he continue his sign vocabulary. To our amazement the teach, a speech pathologist, was also a certified sign interpreter. What are the odds of that? According to someone in the know, slim to none in even the largest of school districts.

Our first ARD was far from what we expected. Everyone was amiable and cooperative. There were no surprises from either side of the table. The teacher was already aware of our desire to continue sign in addition to speech and agreed that it was necessary.

After all the horror stories we have heard, after the horrid evaluation, we were stunned to receive all the services we needed for Snugglebug. It was better than winning the lottery! Talk about your unexpected blessings, this was it. We left with a spot for Snugglebug in their new class and permission to start the very next week.

To Be Continued....

School Days--Part 2

2011-02-23T13:25:00.003-06:00

Snugglebug's new class is three days a week in the morning. We missed the first day due to a doctor's appointment, so we started on day 2 of their week.

I stuck around on the first day to observe the class and students to make sure it would be a good fit. I had not had an opportunity to do this prior to his start date because our ARD was so close to his third birthday.

Snugglebug's anxiety of new situations is higher than the average three-year old. So, staying behind on the first day had another purpose...to help him ease into things. We've been working on various techniques to help him deal with his anxiety, and I was able to show the teacher our techniques throughout the morning.

Our first technique is nothing unusual. We let Tigger, Snugglebug's best bud, go to school with him. Tigger has the great ability to break the ice and test things out for Snugglebug. Tigger's not afraid of anything. He'll jump out and try new things where Snugglebug would never dream of it. Oftentimes, Tigger can show Snugglebug just how much fun a task can be and get him to try it. Stuffed animals are just magical that way.

Our other device is the use of a microfiber cloth (the kind used to clean eye glasses). Snugglebug will become so anxious that he will actually bite and chew his fingers till they bleed. The cloth gives him an outlet for his anxiety, something similar to a worry stone, and keeps him from chewing on his fingers.

While Snugglebug was extremely anxious, the other kids were glad to see him and welcomed him with open arms, inviting him to sit next to them and even offering their chairs. It was so wonderful to see the other kids so accepting. He never said a word but automatically had new friends.

He was timid at first and didn't want to participate, but as the morning wore on he became more and more interested in the tasks at hand. Less than an hour into the class, he was giving the teacher high-fives for participating. It was at this point that I started to cry. I explained to the teacher how rare it is for him to give a high-five on the first day and that we have good friends who still don't get a high-five. It was a huge step!! I knew at that moment that he would be just fine! He was going to love his new class, his new teacher, and the other students.

I wasn't wrong!! The next morning I told Snugglebug that he had school today. On any normal day, it is a battle to get him dressed and out the door, but on day 2 of school, he was more than willing to get ready. In fact, we were ready 15 minutes early. We ended up just sitting in the school parking lot waiting for them to open the doors.

On day 2, I walked him to his classroom, where he walked right in and made himself at home. We said goodbye at the door, and I headed to the office to fill out mounds of enrollment paperwork. He never whimpered or cried. He never wondered where I was. He had a great day! His teacher even video taped him dancing with the other kids. He had a blast! Day 2 was a huge success!!

Book Review: Unto The Hills Devotional by Billy Graham

2011-02-18T15:47:00.001-06:00

Unto the Hills contains 365 devotionals, all written by Billy Graham. First printed in 1986, the devotionals are as relevant as they were almost 25 years ago. Each devotional speaks with as much power as if Graham was speaking right to the reader about today's world.

The devotionals cover prayer, family, Christ, serving Christ, and many, many other topics that are viable to any Christian no matter where their walk may be. Whether they are a new Christian or a grounded, mature Christian the devotions will make you stop and think and ponder your own life and your own choices.

I love the fact that Graham closes each devotion with a prayer. The prayers are short yet to the point.

I can see this book laying on the night stands of many, many homes for many, many generations. This book has already proven to be as timeless today as it was 25 years ago.

I highly recommend this book for a person to buy for themselves, a new Christian, a family member or for any occasion. I give it 5-stars. This book will be on my night stand and used as a devotional for many years to come.

Crock Pot Polenta--The Impatient Italian's Polenta

2011-02-08T20:06:00.005-06:00

The first time I tasted Polenta was at my Italian in-laws table. As a good Southern girl, I had grown up with grits as a staple, so Polenta was love at first bite. That was eight years ago, and ever since then, I had every intention of making Polenta at home. I took mental notes while watching my father-in-law make a batch of polenta. I asked about the cornmeal and the recipe. Yes, lots of notes, but it wasn't until this past Christmas Eve that I finally gave it a try.

Why did I wait so long? I'm impatient. Polenta requires patience to stand at the stove and stir and stir and stir. On Christmas Eve, I cooked Chicken and Wine (another fabulous recipe of my father-in-law) in my Crock Pot and turned my efforts to polenta. Only I didn't allot enough time and halfway through cooking on the stove top, I shoved it into an oven proof container and baked it the rest of the way. Can you say impatient!

So for the impatient Italian, I had to find a way to cook polenta in the Crock Pot. My Crock Pots are my best friends (aside from the living breathing humans who are actually my best friends). So, today with Stephanie O'dea's Chicken Cacciatore cooking in my 6-quart Crock, I was determined to make the perfect side dish to Cacciatore, polenta, in a crock pot. I succeeded!

The Impatient Italian's Polenta
Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 4-6 hours
Cooling Time: 1-2 hours

Ingredients:

4 Quart Slow Cooker
1 Reynold's Slow Cooker Liner
2 Cups of Cold Water
8 Cups of Boiling Water
3 Cups of Cornmeal
6 Tbs. Butter
4 tsp. Salt
2 4x8 bread loaf pans lined with cling wrap

Yield: 2 loaves

Line a 4-quart slow cooker with the Reynold's Slow Cooker Liner, not because I am endorsing them but because if you don't you will have a giant sticky mess that will take longer to clean than it would have to cook the polenta in the first place.

Pour the cold water in a bowl and add the cornmeal, slowly, stirring as you add each cup. Make sure the water is thoroughly incorporated with the cornmeal. It will make a large sticky ball.

Pour the boiling water in the slow cooker and add butter and salt to the hot water. Once the butter is completely melted, add the sticky cornmeal mixture one giant spoonful at a time, stirring as you add to incorporate the mixture into the hot water. Stir well and put the lid on the slow cooker. The cornmeal will sink to the bottom of the crock. That's okay.

Cook on low for 4 to 6 hours. Stir every hour or you'll have some excess water on top of the polenta, and it will be more cooked on the bottom than the top.

Once cooked and while it is still hot, spoon it out of the slow cooker and into the bread pans lined with cling wrap, making sure to press the polenta into the corners. The cling wrap will allow you to dump the polenta out easily. Let it cool in the refrigerator for 1-2 hours before serving.

Your finished product will be a lovely loaf of polenta that took 5 minutes to throw together.

The Verdict

My husband won't touch polenta, no matter how it's made, with a 10-foot poll. I think the Italian gene skips a generation, but my son ate enough for both of them. I thought the polenta tasted just like my father-in-law's. The best part is that the recipe makes way more polenta than my son and I can eat, so I sliced the loaves, wrapped them in cling wrap, and packed them in vacuum packed bags and froze them.

The polenta in the crock, post-cooking. The odd color on top is due to the fact that I did not stir it. I started the crock and walked out the door, returning 6-hours later. The discoloration doesn't hurt anything and if you don't have time to stir every hour. It won't ruin it.

This is what your crock will look like without a liner. I highly recommend them and won't cook anything in my crock's without them. I'm way too impatient to clean stuck on food!

The polenta in the bread pan looks ugly, but the top will be the bottom of the loaf. No one will ever see it. Be sure to press the polenta into the corners of the pan so your loaf is nice and even.
The finished product! Once cool, the loaf will slip out of the lined pan. You can throw the cling wrap away or use it to wrap the loaf.

Yum! All it needs is some juice from Chicken and Wine or Chicken Cacciatore!!

Lessons Learned from WAY Too Many Snow Days

2011-02-03T12:08:00.003-06:00

Here in Texas, we are snowed in for the third day in a row. Schools have been out and the children home for three days in a row! I only have one child, so I am not having a nervous breakdown, but I feel for those who have more than one child at home. We have been thoroughly entertained with lots of Sesame Street and Elmo. I've seen Elmo Goes Potty so many times in the last three days that I am wondering why my child isn't completely potty trained by now. Unfortunately, we are no closer to the potty than before, but I am one step closer to having the entire 45 minutes completely memorized.

We were only supposed to be home one day this week. Monday was the only day I had to complete a mound of paperwork and a long to-do list that included at least a half dozen phone calls. (The latter is only a big deal when you have a toddler around who the minute you are on the phone starts screaming.)

I spent the day in the house rushing around from task to task and completed 90% of my list by bedtime. I honestly didn't expect the ice to be this bad, or I wouldn't have bothered with at least half the list till the next day.

Tuesday and Wednesday were both below freezing and the annoying ice didn't go anywhere! We had therapy and doctor's appointments both days so both days I called to reschedule. I finished my to-do list, made my phone calls, and faxed mailed necessary paperwork. I was done by noon on Tuesday so then I started to clean and haven't stopped cleaning yet.

So, here we are on the fourth day for us to be home this week. I can't remember the last time we were home four days in a row. I think Snugglebug was just a little bug when we had that much time. From the time of his diagnosis till now we have been on the go from one appointment to another. I once did the math and calculated that 20 hours out of every week is spent either on the road to or from an appointment or actually at an appointment. This doesn't include weekend stuff like birthday parties and church. That's equivalent to a part-time job! And those 20 hours are the reason that I categorize myself as an on-the-go mom and not a stay-at-home mom. Yes, there is a difference in the two terms.

But, alas, the last four days I have been off from that part-time job and have been a stay-at-home mom. It has been rather interesting being at home and having no place to go. I have learned that if I were a stay-at-home mom, I would probably be bored out of my mind, in search of a time-consuming hobby, and have a very, very clean house.

Each of the last three nights we have had a delectable dinner when we would have probably eaten sandwiches or something that I could just quickly toss in the oven. I am a fan of marinading and baking and microwave vegetables. But, this week we have not had microwaved vegetables, and I have returned to some recipes of the past and tried some new recipes. I also made cookies and rice pudding!! While I love cooking, if it were not for my part-time job of being an on-the-go mom, I would have to work-out a lot more to maintain my figure.

I suppose I have learned a great lesson this week and that is that I highly appreciate having to take my son to therapy and doctor's appointments. It's a strange thing where lessons are learned!

Ode to the Gray Hair

2011-01-27T17:08:00.000-06:00

I discovered a gray hair recently. It was this wiry thing that was refusing to lie down and be clipped to my head. After careful examination, I discovered it was a gray hair. I did what every woman does when she finds that first gray hair (she just won't admit it), I yanked it out, cursed it, and washed it down the drain.

I don't buy into the whole theory that seven will grow back in its place because if that was true we would have the cure for baldness. The person would have a full head of gray hair but who cares what color it is as long as it is there.

Other gray hairs have since appeared (not in the same location), and I have treated them just as unkindly. My mother had her first gray streak at twenty. Yes, an entire streak, not just a single hair! I should be happy that I have lasted as long as I have without any gray hairs.

Honestly, I am not surprised by the arrival of gray hairs. Gray hairs are a sign of only one thing. No, strike that. They are a sign of several things. The biggest thing is that they are a sign that I am not taking enough vitamins or else I would not have gray hairs. (No, don't correct me! Let me languish in denial...for once.)

Meanwhile....Back in the airport

2011-01-26T16:24:00.002-06:00

So, we are in the throngs of negotiating the waters surrounding the island known as the Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities. The very term makes me wince. I am not sure that I have really come to grips with the term "special needs" or disabilities. I'm thinking the entire thing needs a new name, like "Preschool Program for really adorable children with parent's stuck in an Amsterdam airport." Yes, it's long but makes a lot more sense.

I have spent days doing paperwork. For every question they asked, I attached a separate sheet explaining my answer. For every milestone listed, I checked "delayed." For every health problem listed, I checked "yes."

I attached 5 extra pages of data, not including more pages and a booklet on 7q11.23 duplication, and prayed someone would actually read all the data provided. (Thanks to my Dup Group buddies for helping with that!)

In the midst of doing the paperwork, I have returned to the airport and the aisle of grief. Once again I am mourning. Once again I am struggling with denial, struggling with change, struggling with wanting to have a "normal" life for my child all the while struggling with the need for professional intervention to get him where he needs to be for kindergarten. (The more I hear about kindergarten, the more worried I become.)

I was brought almost to tears one day as we played Legos in the floor for the very first time. We spent two hours building bridges, roads, and stairs for his animals and trains. I was brought to tears by the thought that our spare time was once again being whittled away. You see school won't be in place of therapy two days a week but in addition to therapy. Selfishly, I want a day each week that we can spend together as a family, and selfishly, I want a day each week where Snugglebug and I can crash, relax, and unwind. You do the math. There aren't that many days in the week or hours in the day.

I love our quiet down-times when we sit playing (a.k.a working on OT and speech homework). I have come to grips with so much of this adventure, yet just as I find bit of balance, a new ball is thrown into the mix, and I must find balance juggling even more than before. I can't even really put my emotions into words. I want things to stay the same, yet I want to embrace change. I want to accept once and for all that life for us is going to be full of challenges such as this, but it seems acceptance is outside my reach.

I'm peering at the daffodils outside the airport. I'm glad there are at least windows here, and I seem to have located a payphone to call friends and family for a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen.

If you are clueless as to what I am referring to, I advise you to read: Amsterdam International.

An Ode to Sickness

2011-01-15T08:38:00.002-06:00

My husband and I were struck by an awful stomach bug the last two weeks. It wasn't the flu but minus the muscle aches and fever, it seemed to be just as vicious. I was sick for a couple of days and under the weather for several more. Despite my best efforts to keep everyone else from catching it (i.e. frequent bathroom sanitizations), my hardworking husband came home from work feeling ill on Friday and followed my pattern, sick for a couple of days and under the weather for a few more.

With both of us down for the count, I thought for sure Snugglebug would catch it. I didn't look forward to that. But, to my surprise, he never caught the horrible bug! He just kept plugging along. He was a bit upset that Daddy was home and spent the entire day in bed. He didn't understand why with all of us home, we weren't playing chase, catch, etc. On the upside, he got to watch a LOT of TV (A rare thing for him, since we are on the go so much that when we are home, I limit his TV consumption.) Everything in moderation!

I shouldn't have been surprised that my child never caught the bug. He has an astounding immune system. In his almost 3 years, he has had only one ear infection, one stomach bug, and three bouts of bronchitis. Bronchitis is an annual event.

Despite the fact that we visit 6 specialists for a variety of health issues, his immune system is a feat of nature! While I seem to catch every bug that goes around and currently have a head cold, he seems to avoid these germs with ease. If I could bottle his immunities and sell them, I'd be rich!

I'm very grateful that he is so healthy. It is one of the blessings that I have overlooked these last three years. In all my frustration of dealing with digestive issues, sight issues, hearing issues, and so many other issues, that I forget just how little we see the doctor. Well, the pediatrician that is.

Sometimes it is hard to see the trees for the forest. It can be quite overwhelming to try to find your way through a forest when you really only have to navigate one tree at a time.

Closet Cleanse Time

2011-01-04T18:25:00.002-06:00

Last year, I started a something without even realizing it. I started cleaning out closets and discarding junk that I didn't need and passing on good stuff that I never used. I got such a high from liberating myself and my family of all our unwanted and unneeded stuff that I am doing it again this year. I had no idea that I was starting an annual tradition.

Julie Morgenstern actually coined the term (or I think she did), Closet Cleanse. She set up 4-steps for clearing out and cleaning out. She uses the acronym: SHED.

SEPARATE the treasures — identify the gems that are worth hanging on to.
HEAVE the trash — eliminate what's weighing you down.
EMBRACE your identity — connect to who you are without all your stuff.
DRIVE yourself forward — explore the direction that connects to your genuine self.

I discovered a great deal about myself as I cleaned out my closets. Not everything was a good revelation, but it gave me a lot of areas to work on this past year. Those Revelations have completely changed my thinking and my way of life. I believe I am a better person simply because I chose to clean out my closets.

I rediscovered space in my house, too. I have been so happy with my results that I have refused to restock my home with more "stuff." I have turned down offers of "stuff." And...I am eying larger non-closet types of items that really, really need to go. (i.e. furniture) We have so much furniture that we don't need. What we do need is more floor space for cars to drive on and kids to wrestle on.

This year, I am returning to the closets with the same rule as last year: "If I haven't touched it or used it in a year, it goes." I'm also organizing my new found space, so I can find things like batteries easier. More stuff has already been tossed out. A box of items is already packed and ready to be passed on to one friend, and I am sure I will find more as I continue through the house.

With each cleanse, I feel lighter and freer. I am not identified by my "stuff." I am identified by who I am as a person. I have no reason to hang on to anything that does not have a specific purpose in my life.

Let 'Er Rip

2011-01-01T11:05:00.005-06:00

Snugglebug had no issues with wrapping paper this year. Last year, the texture of the wrapping paper was too much for him, and he wouldn't touch it. Everything had to be in gift bags with tissue paper.

But, before he started ripping open the packaging, he helped me wrap almost every present. There were a couple he didn't help wrap (including his own), but for most of the gifts he was right there, lending me a hand.

He learned to pull the tape off the dispenser. This was a hard job for
his low muscle tone. He really had to work at it to tear the tape.
Most of the time the tape did not end up in the right spot. But, I counted
it a success since the tape actually made it to the paper. About half
the time, he would try to stick the non-stick side to the paper. He couldn't
understand why both sides weren't sticky.

He learned to fold the ends and even managed to crease a corner.
That impressed me, since I have trouble with the corners, myself.

He did a great job wrapping. So great, in fact, that I may give
him the job altogether in the future.

When it came to unwrapping, he wasted no time.
He ripped and pulled and didn't worry about the paper in the least.

He was very neat about his unwrapping. With each piece of
paper that he tore off, he handed it to someone to throw away.
When he finished unwrapping, there was no stray paper around
He kept it neat and tidy.

Snugglebug walked away with a pile of loot. The photo above is just what he got from us. With as many aunts, uncles, and cousins as he has, one can't help but make out like a bandit at Christmas. He got so many wonderful books and toys. He should be a happy camper for a while.

My little boy only asked for one thing this Christmas. A football. Pictured above, his eyes lit up when he opened the package. He has been wanting a football for a while (since football season started, to be exact.) Now, the weather just needs to cooperate so he can go outside and throw the ball with his daddy.

Christmas Trees and Christmas Cookies

2011-01-01T08:00:00.000-06:00

These lovely cookies are the 3rd attempt at making Christmas cookies.

Snugglebug had no interest in decorating cookies, but
Mama had a blast. I decorated all of these cookies.
This was my first time to decorated Christmas cookies.

Decorating the tree. A first for Snugglebug, he loved hanging the ornaments.
You can't really tell but the window is open. On this day,
the temperature was around 85 degrees. I thought it very interesting
that we were decorating a tree with the windows open and the heat off.

I hung the ornaments at the top of the tree since he
could only reach about 3/4 of the way up the tree.
He decorated very well. He even hung ornaments on the
back of the tree, facing the window. I didn't move any ornaments.
He did a great job of hanging them throughout the tree.

Trains, Trains, and More Trains

2010-12-31T14:51:00.005-06:00

Last year, we began a family tradition of seeing a model train exhibit in a mall near us. The trains are a fund raiser for a children's hospital and well worth seeing every year. The exhibit is set-up differently each year and doesn't cease to be marvelous.

This year, Snugglebug has been very interested in trains, and we knew this tradition was going to be a big hit with him. It was!! He enjoyed it so much that we circled the room three times before leaving. He kept signing, "More Trains. More Trains."

He was enthralled with every single train, and we noticed that no matter how many times we went through the exhibit we saw more things that we had not seen before. We were just as amazed as he was. This tradition will be one that we keep for quite a few years!

I want this Christmas tree! There are three trains circling this tree. It is absolutely the most magical and spectacular Christmas tree I have ever seen! Whoever designed this gets a huge round of applause from me!!

My favorite pose. He is leaning on the plexi-glass and watching the trains go by.
He would do this for several minutes at a time, just taking it all in.

"Look at that one, Daddy."

"More Trains! More Trains!" Both words signed together
over...and over...and over!! Love it!!

He just assumed we weren't paying attention to the trains.
He pointed them out to us to make sure we saw them.
(I wonder where he learned this.) She asks, sarcastically.

Our Wonderful Families

2010-12-31T14:26:00.004-06:00

This year was the year of family photos. At gatherings of both my family and my husband's family, someone suggested family photos. This great idea is often overlooked and forgotten due to the milieu of gift opening. But, this year it was a priority to someone and now we have the gift that keeps on sharing throughout the coming year. Here are a few photos of our fabulous families:

Papa and Grandma Felini
My husband's parents

Three generations of Felini men. This one will be framed
and hang on the wall next to Papa Felini's father.

My beautiful family.

The Western Clan
My siblings, their children, and my parents.

Grandpa and Mama Gran Western
My parents

All total, Snugglebug has:
2 sets of Grandparents, both still together and not divorced
8 Aunts
6 Uncles
12 Cousins
9 Second Cousins

I don't dare count any higher than that or you'll be able to guess the grade I received in basic college math. :-)

Operation Actually Read the Bible, Year 2 Complete

2010-12-31T09:34:00.003-06:00

Two years ago, my friend Becky and I began trekking through the Bible. She aspired to read the Bible in a year and did! I aspired to study the Bible but in five years. The goal was a chapter a day read more than once so as to truly absorb the scriptures.

I have done just that and am actually ahead of schedule. January begins Year Three of my study through the Bible. I am more than half through the Bible and if I keep reading at the same rate should finish in 18 months but I hope to finish by this time next year since many of the Old Testament books are short.

I spent a great deal of time reading the Old Testament this year. I started alternating Old Testament and New Testament books but was quickly absorbed by the men of faith throughout the Old Testament. I read Genesis straight through to 1st and 2nd Kings jumping over 1st and 2nd Chronicles to read about the women of faith in Esther and Ruth. I learned so much from the men of old and am inspired by their faith and tenacity.

This fall I read the Gospels of Matthew and Luke and John will start the new year. The Gospels as well as the previously read Old Testament books have shown me the depth of God's Grace that I never fully understood.

As a mom, reading time is practically nill. I read before falling asleep, which sometimes allows me 5 minutes to read and sometimes an hour. You don't always accomplish much when you fall asleep 5 minutes after picking up your book.

From time to time, I have taken a break from the scriptures to quickly devour another book, thus the reviews you see from time to time. I don't have time to read my Bible and a book, so breaks are required. It works and keeps me from being burned out on one book.

In the meantime, I am making quite a list of books that I want to read when time allows me to go back to devouring books again.

.....And as 2011 begins, my trek through the Bible continues....

Where'd November Go?

2010-12-31T09:10:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure where November went. I searched high and low and found it right where it should be, sandwiched right between October and December. I questioned November thoroughly about his absence, and he assured me that he had been present for all 30 days. I distinctly remembered only one day (Thanksgiving) in November. But, he argued that November had 30 days and even quoted the poem, "Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November..." Yes, he was right. November does have 30 days, so now I must search for the other 29 that I seem to have misplaced.

Don't know the poem. You can follow this link to see the original poem and some modern renditions.
http://www.rhymes.org.uk/thirty_days_hath_september.htm

Halloween and the Almost Costume

2010-12-31T08:39:00.003-06:00

Halloween, while ages ago, deserves a post for several reasons. The first is that I promised someone to post on Snugglebug's first Halloween adventure complete with costume. The second is because it was the day before what turned out to be a VERY important doctor's appointment.

Halloween didn't exactly go as planned which I am learning happens all the time with kids. Snugglebug's costume was simple. It was a police shirt, costume hat, handcuffs to be secured to his belt, and a badge. If you are picturing a miniature of Snugglebug's policeman daddy, then you are correct.

Snugglebug, however, had other ideas. He got up grumpy, fussy, and refusing to eat which made things even worse. When his blood sugar gets to a certain level, he gets really grouchy. We didn't know what was wrong except that he just seemed to not feel well. He didn't have a cold or a fever. He wasn't constipated. Nothing seemed to add up except that he was a fussy, grouch.

So, when it came time to put on the costume, as simple as it was, he refused. He wore the t-shirt but that was it. No costume for this kid! But, off we went to the church's fall festival. We thought for sure he would perk up when he saw the other kids in their costumes and all the fun games. But, alas, he wasn't happy. He wouldn't even allow a cute photo. So, I have no photo of Mr. Grump from Halloween. It is just as well. Who wants to remember a mood like that.

Snugglebug did find a table where they were giving away candy and no game participation was required. He made himself at home at this table and pigged out on chocolate which actually helped his mood. (He's my son. Chocolate always lifts my mood too.)

The next day, he was still in a mood. We had speech therapy followed by a GI appointment. Speech therapy was a complete waste of time but the GI appointment was a turning point.

This summer, this GI had discovered Snugglebug was bleeding internally from massive amounts of acid collecting in his stomach and causing extremely bad reflux. He changed his acid reflux medication and put Snugglebug on a dairy-free diet. With the exception of the chocolate, the day before, we adhered to the new rules fairly well. But, alas, I saw no real change. The new medication didn't seem to be doing its job either.

The doctor changed his medication once again. This would be Snugglebug's fourth acid reflux medication change. I also, reluctantly, agreed to stay on the dairy free diet for one more month (which turned out to be closer to two months) until another endoscopy could be performed to see if the new diet was helping.

Within a week of starting the new medication, Snugglebug was a new kid. He was sleeping through the night for the first time ever. He was eating better! And he wasn't a grump!

After 2 1/2 years, we finally found a medication to control Snugglebug's acid reflux!!

Shortly before Christmas another endoscopy was done (Snugglebug's third in 6 months). The doctor was pleased with the results. The stomach bleeding was gone, the acid was down, and his esophagus was healed. The new medication was working!!

We, the doctor and I, compromised on the diet restrictions. Snugglebug can have cheese, but not milk or milk products. He can eat birthday cake and ice cream when we go out or to parties, but at home will remain dairy free. That's a compromise I can live with. And now, I have a happy child that I can live with!!

Next year, I'll bet he'll wear his Halloween costume and play all the games.

New Year's Resolutions

2010-12-30T08:26:00.002-06:00

Note: I have a long list of blog posts to catch everyone up. Unfortunately, our week of break has turned into a week of specialist's appointments as we try to beat the Jan. 1 deadline when deductibles roll over. Now, back to the regularly scheduled post.

New year's resolutions are on the mind's of many as we approach January 1st. I typically have a list of things I would like to get done but they are by no means resolutions for the new year. It is the ongoing to-do list that typically encompasses my entire white board each week.

Once at a small group meeting (many years ago, while I was still in college) the question was for us to list our new year's resolutions. I didn't have any, but had read a truly insightful Garfield cartoon earlier that day.

The Garfield cartoon had Jon making his usual list of resolutions. Garfield snuggled in his bed, under his blanket says that his resolution is "to lower his expectations." I decided to announce that I was following the example of a cartoon cat who likes lasagna and lots of naps.

Despite my lack of resolutions, I have no lack of drive and no lack of plans for the future. I don't always reach those goals, but I work hard to at least give it a try.

As a mom, I have found that long-term goals often go unmet, and I can plan all I want and those plans fall through. I can have a to-do list the entire length of my whiteboard, and if it is a good day, check off one of those items. Typically, my expectations are to complete the whole list in one day and have the rest of the week free for the therapy appointments, playdates, park visits, etc. Typically, that never happens. I've really struggled with the fact that I just never accomplish what I want to anymore. The post-baby, new-mom world is a struggle for me. I've been really focusing on this struggle this past year and have come to this knowledge:

I need to lower my expectations!!

I expect so much of myself that I can't appreciate what was accomplished. I am focused on how I didn't reach my goal or fell short of completing my to-do list. I find myself falling into a bit of depression when plans fall through or don't go according to plan.

So, after reading some really great mommy advice books including, I WAS A REALLY GOOD MOM BEFORE I HAD KIDS and I'D TRADE MY HUSBAND FOR A HOUSEKEEPER, I am following the advice of a lasagna loving cat. I'm lowering my expectations. My new year's resolution is to let it go when plans don't work out, to "play it by ear" more. To not be depressed when goals aren't met, but to admit that that's part of life.

As a mom, my only goal should be to raise a godly son who loves the Lord. He can't see love if I am frustrated over not meeting my own expectations.

This doesn't mean I am putting away the whiteboard or the to-do list. The laundry still has to be done. Doctor's appointments must still be made and attended. Insurance paperwork must still be completed. The to-do list will never go away but my expectation of completing everything on the list in one day or even one week will go away.

Just to prove that I am following my new lower expectation resolution. Christmas cards will be in the mail today...hopefully (2 days before the new year.)

Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours!!

2010-12-23T22:22:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas from our busy family to yours!!

Of Paperwork and Doctors

2010-10-27T00:03:00.000-05:00

Doctors require a great deal of paperwork. I try to download what I can and fill it out at home before getting to the office just to save time and because there are usually enough pages to give a person a hand-cramp before they are finished.

But, there is always that chance that you walk into a doctor you have seen a several times in the last year, and after they photocopy your insurance card and driver's license again, they hand you a stack of papers to fill out that look incredibly similar to the "new patient forms" you filled out prior to the first visit. Only these forms are to update your record. I think what they don't want to tell you is that someone accidentally spilled their coffee on your file, and they can't read your address in order to send you the bill. So, they have you fill out all three or four pages while you wait and before you are allowed to see the doctor, so they will have your billing address...and a LOT of other stuff.

Is all that information really necessary? I understand needing the social security number and address of the patient and the person responsible for the bill. They need those to file with insurance, and in case you renig on the bill, and they file it on your credit. But, they also want the social security numbers, addresses, cell phone and work phone of every other person in your life. Is that really necessary?

And, they want your driver's license number and every piece of information printed on your insurance card. Didn't they just copy both of those? Maybe, it's like an open book test to check your eye sight.

But I can understand the information from the insurance card. What if the same person spilled coffee on the photocopy of the insurance card? They have a back-up of your handwritten insurance card.

Some questions make sense. It makes sense that they need to know if anyone had certain illnesses in your family. But, is it really necessary to know how many pets you have or what kind they are? And do you need four lines to answer those questions? I suppose if you were going to the vet, but not for a gastroenterologist.

Some questions apply to adults such as workplace and occupation. But, when you are filling it out for a child what do you put?

Workplace: Home
Work Address: See above address listed three times
Occupation: Playing...and chasing the three cats, riding the two dogs, antagonizing the guinea pig, and trashing mom's house faster than she can clean it.

And, how many emergency contacts does one person need? And they want the person's name, address, cell phone, and work phone. For this reason, I am having my husband's name, address, cell phone, and work phone tattooed on my arm where they check my pulse. And, should I have a heart attack, and they are checking the records for my contact info, it will read, "check pulse."
It just saves everyone time.

But, they also want "an emergency contact who does not live in the home and you are not related to." Really?

Well, since this is all about being thorough:

If I trip and break a bone, call my lawyer...name, address, phone number.
If I have an allergic reaction, call my doctor (that's not you)......name, address, phone number.
If I become locked in the bathroom and the door is jammed, call my handyman....
If I am accosted by ghosts, call Jason and Grant of Ghosthunters...
If I am accosted by evil spirits, call a priest, any priest with a REALLY big cross...
If I am robbed at gun point, or at any point for that matter, call the police....

I am nothing, if not thorough.

The Quest for Encouragement: Are you in the airport or not?

2010-10-26T20:42:00.000-05:00

A friend read Amsterdam International and asked what she could do or say to support and encourage those of us with neuro-atypical children (my word not hers, but about that in another post). I was so touched by her question. The simple desire to encourage me means more than any words she could ever utter.

Yet so often I don't even admit that I am in Amsterdam International, let alone admit that there are no windows to even view the tulips and windmills. When asked the age old question, "How are you?" I give the age old answer, "Fine." Besides, there is no way to answer that question when the airport feels like it is closing in on you.

So, using Dana's analogy of the airport and tulips, I have devised a coded question for friends and family to ask the parents of neuro-atypical children....

Are you in the airport or not?

You see some days you are in the airport. You might be near a window with at least a view of the tulips, but other days you might be smack-dab in the middle with no sight of an exit, a plane, or a tulip. All you see is the concession stand and its day-old sandwiches.

Then there are other days, when you escape the confines of the airport to see Amsterdam. You might not see the tulips, but you are at least breathing fresh air. But, other days, you might actually be seeing the tulips.

Each day is different. For those of us who have children with health problems, we cannot begin to explain those problems in the few minutes allowed for the "How are you answer?"

But, if we ask, "Are you in the airport or NOT?" A quick answer tells all and means the world to us moms. Just knowing that someone is interested...Just knowing that there is no judgment in how we truly feel, reminds us that even when we feel we are alone, we aren't. We have friends, who if they cannot even begin to understand what it is like to prep a two-year old for a colonoscopy, they can accept where we are and how we feel.

No matter the issue of the day or the view in Amsterdam, we just need a caring heart and sometimes someone to listen to us. We realize not everyone wants to know all the details. All we want to know is that someone cares enough to ask..."Are you in the airport or not?"

Quest for a New Word

2010-10-26T20:41:00.000-05:00

With all due respect to those who believe there is no such thing as a normal child, I do believe there is a "normal." AND that my Snugglebug does not fit in that category.

A normal child goes to the park, Snugglebug goes to Specialists (6 to be exact).
A normal child goes on playdates, Snugglebug goes to therapy (3 hours a week to be exact).

A normal child does not have to be prodded to move forward in development. It just happens.

So, while the word normal is not the best word to use, I am at a loss for what to use to describe our situation. A Dup Group parent suggested the terms neuro-typical and neuro-atypical to describe their two different developing children, one of whom has 7q11.23 duplication and one who does not. I like the terms. They seem to fit the definition.

So, until I find a better way to describe sweet babies who need extra love, extra help, and extra supervision, I'll be using neur-atypical.

I'm open for suggestions.

Amsterdam International

2010-10-25T18:51:00.002-05:00

The article below was written by Dana Nieder, the mother of a special needs child. This article speaks to every crevice of my heart. It is hard to explain what it is like to be a parent on this journey of life with a neuro-atypical child, but she does.

The poem below, Welcome to Holland, is written by Emily Perl Kingsley, a writer for Sesame Street and the mother of a child with Down Syndrome.

Dana uses the poem as a basis for her article, which is why I included Welcome to Holland here. Dana includes a link to the poem in her article.

I would love to hear comments from you, my readers.

--------

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

-----------

Amsterdam International
Written by Dana Nieder

To fully get this post, please read (or re-read) Welcome to Holland before starting. Thanks.

In the special needs world, there is a poem (essay? whatever.) called "Welcome to Holland." It is supposed to explain what it's like to have a child with special needs. It's short and sweet.

It skips everything.

While "Welcome to Holland" has a place, I used to hate it. It skipped over all of the agony of having a child with special needs and went right to the happy ending.

The raw, painful, confusing entry into Holland was just glossed over. And considering the fact that this little poem is so often passed along to new-moms-of-kids-with-special-needs, it seems unfair to just hand them a little story about getting new guidebooks and windmills and tulips.

If I had written "Welcome to Holland", I would have included the terrible entry time. And it would sound like this:

Amsterdam International

Parents of “normal” kids who are friends with parents of kids with special needs often say things like “Wow! How do you do it? I wouldn’t be able to handle everything---you guys are amazing!” (Well, thank you very much.) But there’s no special manual, no magical positive attitude serum, no guide to embodying strength and serenity . . . people just do what they have to do. You rise to the occasion, and embrace your sense of humor (or grow a new one). You come to love your life, and it’s hard to imagine it a different way (although when you try, it may sting a little). But things weren’t always like this . . . at first, you ricocheted around the stages of grief, and it was hard to see the sun through the clouds. And forget the damn tulips or windmills. In the beginning you’re stuck in Amsterdam International Airport. And no one ever talks about how much it sucks.

You briskly walk off of the plane into the airport thinking “There-must-be-a-way-to-fix-this-please-please-don’t-make-me-have-to-stay-here-THIS-ISN’T-WHAT-I-WANTED-please-just-take-it-back”. The airport is covered with signs in Dutch that don’t help, and several well-meaning airport professionals try to calm you into realizing that you are here (oh, and since they’re shutting down the airport today, you can never leave. Never never. This is your new reality.). Their tone and smiles are reassuring, and for a moment you feel a little bit more calm . . . but the pit in your stomach doesn’t leave and a new wave of panic isn’t far off.

(Although you don’t know it yet, this will become a pattern. You will often come to a place of almost acceptance, only to quickly re-become devastated or infuriated about this goddamned unfair deviation to Holland. At first this will happen several times a day, but it will taper to several times a week, and then only occasionally.)

A flash of realization---your family and friends are waiting. Some in Italy, some back home . . . all wanting to hear about your arrival in Rome. Now what is there to say? And how do you say it? You settle on leaving an outgoing voicemail that says “We’ve arrived, the flight was fine, more news to come” because really, what else can you say? You’re not even sure what to tell yourself about Holland, let alone your loved ones.

(Although you don’t know it yet, this will become a pattern. How can you talk to people about Holland? If they sweetly offer reassurances, it’s hard to find comfort in them . . . they’ve never been to Holland, after all.

And their attempts at sympathy? While genuine, you don’t need their pity . . . their pity says “Wow, things must really suck for you” . . . and when you’re just trying to hold yourself together, that doesn’t help. When you hear someone else say that things are bad, it’s hard to maintain your denial, to keep up your everything-is-just-fine-thank-you-very-much outer shell. Pity hits too close to home, and you can’t admit to yourself how terrible it feels to be stuck in Holland, because then you will undoubtedly collapse into a pile of raw, wailing agony. So you have to deflect and hold yourself together . . . deflect and hold yourself together.)

You sneak sideways glances at your travel companion, who also was ready for Italy. You have no idea how (s)he’s handling this massive change in plans, and can’t bring yourself to ask. You think “Please, please don’t leave me here. Stay with me. We can find the right things to say to each other, I think. Maybe we can have a good life here.” But the terror of a mutual breakdown, of admitting that you’re deep in a pit of raw misery, of saying it out loud and thereby making it reality, is too strong. So you say nothing.

(Although you don’t know it yet, this may become a pattern. It will get easier with practice, but it will always be difficult to talk with your partner about your residency in Holland. Your emotions won’t often line up---you’ll be accepting things and trying to build a home just as he starts clamoring for appointments with more diplomats who may be able to “fix” it all. And then you’ll switch, you moving into anger and him into acceptance. You will be afraid of sharing your depression, because it might be contagious---how can you share all of the things you hate about Holland without worrying that you’re just showing your partner all of the reasons that he should sink into depression, too?)

And what you keep thinking but can’t bring yourself to say aloud is that you would give anything to go back in time a few months. You wish you never bought the tickets. It seems that no traveler is ever supposed to say “I wish I never even got on the plane. I just want to be back at home.” But it’s true, and it makes you feel terrible about yourself, which is just fantastic . . . a giant dose of guilt is just what a terrified lonely lost tourist needs.

Although you don’t know it yet, this is the part that will fade. After you’re ready, and get out of the airport, you will get to know Holland and you won’t regret the fact that you have traveled. Oh, you will long for Italy from time to time, and want to rage against the unfairness from time to time, but you will get past the little voice that once said “Take this back from me. I don’t want this trip at all.”

Each traveler has to find their own way out of the airport. Some people navigate through the corridors in a pretty direct path (the corridors can lead right in a row: Denial to Anger to Bargaining to Depression to Acceptance). More commonly, you shuffle and wind around . . . leaving the Depression hallway to find yourself somehow back in Anger again. You may be here for months.

But you will leave the airport. You will.

And as you learn more about Holland, and see how much it has to offer, you will grow to love it.

And it will change who you are, for the better.

© Dana Nieder 10/2010

Please feel free to forward this, blog about it, post it places, etc. My intent in writing it was to reach families in the early stages of processing having a child with special needs and to let them know that they are not alone. If you do blog about it, post it on a website, forward it, etc, please link back to this blog (or cite my name, Dana Nieder) and include my email address (uncommonfeedback@gmail.com) so that I could be contacted if anyone wants to reach out.

Also, if you blog about it or post to a website, please email me to let me know, because I think that's pretty cool :)

Thanks for reading :)
Posted by Dana at 10/05/2010 10:05:00 PM

Play Ball!!

2010-10-23T08:45:00.005-05:00

It's a great day to be a Texas Rangers fan!

Last night, I sat in utter astonishment as the team that I have routed for my entire life won the American League Championship Series. This nn contrast to their win for the American League Division Series where I was jumping up and down, dancing, and doing this internal squeal because the rest of my family was sound asleep. For the ALCS win, I was elated to the point of not really believing it. It took all of five minutes for it to set in, and then, I jumped in my car, drove fifteen minutes to the nearest big city to purchase one of the last ALCS Championship t-shirts. At 10:35 p.m., they were sold out. I was lucky to get what I did. Granted, I could wait till Tuesday when they have a million shirts, but for someone who has attended Ranger games, listened to them on the radio and watched them on TV, and memorized the roster year after year, I had to show my respect by a late-night drive to purchase a t-shirt.

My husband has been giving me grief about my division championship t-shirts. I bought two! I wear one, then wash it the next day, while wearing the second. On the off chance that I don't have time to do laundry that day, I also bought a Hamilton jersey t-shirt to wear in between the division championship t-shirts. Alas, I have thoroughly enjoyed seeing my team do so well this season.

All of this is my dad's fault. Yes, I blame him for my baseball enthusiasm. It started on a beautiful Sunday afternoon when he rounded up my sisters and I and took us into the backyard. He presented each of us with these large, uncomfortable, plastic gloves and showed us this large, bright orange softball. While it may have been a softball, the game he taught us was clearly referred to as baseball.

That day he taught us the fundamentals of a game that we would all fall in love with. It was the beginning of many a Sunday afternoon spent playing our four-person version of baseball.

Near the beginning of baseball season, we would rent every baseball movie the library had in stock. Our favorite was The Sandlot. It's still a favorite to this day. Then, baseball season would begin. We didn't watch every single game on tv, but we watched quite a few. We attended at least one game a season, a tradition that I continued through college and until I married and moved to far from the stadium to make attendance easy.

We are passing on the tradition to our own Snugglebug. We introduced him to baseball while on vacation this summer via The Little League World Series! Another family staple around here is the LLWS. We don't miss it!

Each night in our hotel room, we would snuggle down under the covers and watch the boys play ball. Even two-year old Snugglebug watched all six innings. Who would have ever guessed that a little one would sit still that long?

When we got home, we purchased him a t-ball set and started our lessons of baseball. When the Rangers' games start, he gets out his t-ball set and bats when they bat. If he isn't batting, he is sitting next to his daddy, watching the game. We let him stay up a little past his bedtime, so he can watch part of the game with us.

For you football fans, you shouldn't worry. We are great believers in a well-rounded education and his daddy is teaching him the ins and outs of football and even tosses a small, plastic football with him in the backyard. But, this post is about baseball and the glory of what is OCTOBER and the WORLD SERIES!!

LET'S GO RANGERS! LET'S GO! LET'S GO RANGERS! LET'S GO!

Book Review: Out Live Your Life by Max Lucado

2010-10-21T14:13:00.002-05:00

If you enjoy Max Lucado books, then you will enjoy this one. In his traditional, easy to read style, Lucado inspires the reader to move forward in his or her Christian life. While the book is not full of fascinating ideas to out live your life, it is a gentle reminder that God places moments within each day when we can make a difference in someone else's life. Lucado sites lots of scripture and compares today's church to the early church in the book of Acts. He reminds the reader of what we are supposed to do as a church and as Christians and encourages us to do just that.

This book is not overwhelming. Unlike, A Hole in Our Gospel, it does not leave you in tears with each chapter and when you close the book you are not spurred to pack your bags and become a missionary. But, it does remind us that we have a great job to share God's love and grace with others.

As with most of Lucado's books, this one also comes as a small group or individual Bible study. I read this book in three days and wouldn't necessarily say it would make a great Bible study.

Hanging Out at the Pumpkin Patch

2010-10-21T07:25:00.000-05:00

Another fall tradition is a visit to a pumpkin patch. Thus far we have not visited the same one twice which adds to the fun. There are so many different pumpkin patches in the area. This year we went to the Dallas Arboretum. It is a bit of a drive for us and in Dallas traffic no less. But, we made it and it was well worth the trip.

Snugglebug enjoyed the pumpkins immensely. He has been learning the word pumpkin in sign language and by the time we went to the pumpkin patch, he was signing it quite well. He was almost chanting in sign language, "pumpkin, pumpkin, pumpkin."

The hay maze was a favorite of Snugglebug. He ran through the maze and then climbed on the hay bales. This was his first attempt at climbin

Climbing on the hay bales is a big deal for this texture sensitive child. The first time he touched the hay he drew back his hands and rubbed them on his shirt. The second time he tried just touching the hay with his knuckles. Still not good. He gave up and continued running through the maze but the desire to climb overcame his texture issues, and he succeeded in climbing the hay bale. That was only the beginning. There wasn't a hay bale that he didn't climb after that.

There were hay bales everywhere with pumpkins of all sizes piled on them and around them. The kids could climb all over the hay and the pumpkins. No rules about looking but not touching.
My favorite pic of the day. He chose this pose himself.
"I'll have pumpkin, please." Sitting in the chair was his idea, but he wanted the chair the girl in pink was sitting in.

My sweet baby boy and I.

On Adoption

2010-10-19T21:31:00.006-05:00

From Max Lucado's Outlive Your Life, 2010: Thomas Nelson Publishers: p. 6

And we have enough bedrooms to house the orphans. Here's the math. There are 145 million orphans worldwide. Nearly 236 million people in the United States call themselves Christians. From a purely statistical standpoint, American Christians by themselves have the wherewithal to house every orphan in the world.

Of course, many people are not in a position to do so. They are elderly, infirm, unemployed, or simply feel no call to adopt. Yet what if a small percentage of them did? Hmmmm, let's say 6 percent. If so, we could provide loving homes for more than 14.1 million children in sub-Saharan Africa who have been orphaned by the AIDS epidemic. Among the noble causes of the church, how does this one sound? "American Christians Stand Up for AIDS Orphans." Wouldn't that headline be a welcome one?

I don't mean to oversimplify these terribly complicated questions. We can't just snap our fingers and expect the grain to flow across borders or governments to permit foreign adoptions. Policies stalemate the best of efforts. International relations are strained. Corrupt officials snag the systems. I get that.

But, this much is clear: the storehouse is stocked. The problem is not in the supply; the problem is in the distribution. God has given this generation, our generation, everything we need to alter the course of human suffering.

Cynda Here:

For most of you, if not all of you, reading this blog, you fall into a category known as Gentiles. We aren't born of God's biological family known as the Israelites or Jews. Yet, God saw fit to adopt us idol worshiping gentiles, love us as his own children, and give us part of their inheritance. He didn't have to. He had his own children already. Brought out of Egypt by His hand, led to the promised land by His leaders. He has an entire nation. Yet, he chose to adopt us because of his immense love for all of us regardless of nation or skin color.

Without God's love, we didn't stand a chance. We were lost, hungry, and lonely. But, he took us in, made us his own, and gave us an inheritance.

There is no greater way to share the love God has so freely given us than to follow his example and adopt a child that is not our own, that does not share our genes or biology, and maybe not even our skin color.

In Texas alone, there are 3500 children ready and waiting to be adopted. I don't know what percentage of households in Texas would fall into the same 6% as described by Lucado above, but I am guessing that there are more than 3500 households in Texas who could adopt these children.

These children and others world-wide don't stand a chance without us. They will die hungry, lost, and alone, if someone isn't willing to share God's love and grace with them.

Book Review: The Grace of God by Andy Stanley

2010-10-19T08:11:00.001-05:00

The Grace of God by Andy Stanley is by far the most enlightening book that I have read this year. Stanley explains grace in a way that I've never heard before.
I read this book in three days and turned it around to start over again. I couldn't put it down, but there was just too much information to digest the first time around.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone anywhere. It would make a great book for new Christians as well as experienced ones. It would also make a great Bible study for a small group. With 13 chapters and tons of scripture references, a small group could read a chapter or two a week and discuss it. I can imagine no greater faith builder than discussing the meaning of the Grace of God.

I've sat under many preachers and never heard them explain grace in this way. Stanley illustrates his point with scriptures and stories from the Old Testament to the New Testament.

He begins with creation, explaining that the very act of creating the world and eventually man is an act of God's grace. He continues with Adam and Eve and the first sin and their need for grace. He follows the same train of thought through the Old Testament and into the New Testament. Using historical background that is not included in the scriptures, Stanley throws light on the reason why it was so important for Jesus to speak to the Samaritan woman at the well. Stanley highlights the historical significance of Pharisees, Sadducees, and Tax Collectors so that we might better understand the incredible amount of Grace Jesus shared throughout his ministry.

But, Stanley doesn't end with Christ's death. He continues through church history showing how the church deviated from the gospel and surmising why grace was not enough for their religion. He ends with today's church and asks some poignant questions about today's churches and today's religion. He explains the meaning of graceless religion in a way that will forever stick in my mind.

Stanley gave me new understand of God's grace, my faith, and the need for trust in God. It was as though he provided a key to understanding every story in the Bible not to mention the true meaning of "by grace we are saved."

State Fair of Texas

2010-10-17T16:42:00.017-05:00

I love this man!! We go to the State Fair of Texas every year. I can probably count on one hand the years I have missed the fair since I was about 12 or 13 years old. We missed the fair last year due to the weather interfering but this year the weather was perfect and so were the people who went with us.

BIG TEX: The Voice of the State Fair welcomes each person with a Texas sized "Howdy"

Our Crew: Derek, Mei Mei (5 y/o), Jennifer, Kenny (11 y/o), and Snugglebug (2 y/o).
Derek is one of our "adopted" kids. Jennifer is his fiance'. Mei Mei is Jennifer's guest and her "adopted" sister for the day. Kenny is Jennifer's little brother. As you can see, we have a lot of "adopted" kids with us. They aren't adopted in the traditional sense and the story is far more complicated than I can explain. Suffice to say that they spend a lot of time with us (minus Mei Mei who we met for the first time this trip). They three younger ones added so much joy to the day. We experienced the fair in a brand new light thanks to them.

Our happy group meandering to our next destination. We are experienced fair-goers and don't need to stop and look at every little thing. We map out our route with specific things in mind and head out. Snugglebug walked almost the entire day. He refused to ride in the stroller, which gave us a lot of room to carry stuff.

I'm still amazed to see him walk. You would think I would get over it by now. He's been walking for a year and I still find myself in complete awe of the fact that we actually made it! He looks so big walking through the fair grounds.

The highlight for the kids were very expensive bubbles and an equally expensive inflatable ball. They played with those all day. You can't see the bubbles too well in the picture but you can clearly see them jumping up and down to pop them. Well, whatever it takes to keep them happy. Derek and Jennifer were thrilled that the bubble gun ran out of bubbles just before we left the fair.

Everyone goes to the fair for a different reason. Some for the food, some for the rides, some for the ferris wheel, but we go for the side shows. The side shows aren't what they used to be with rare and odd people and animals like the wolfman. Today they are talented people and animals showing off their skills. One of our favorites are the African Acrobats. These men are at the fair every year and amaze me with their acrobatic skills.

There are other attractions as well. This year, new to the fair was a giant sandbox. It was indoors so by the afternoon we were ready to take a break and enjoy some A/C. Kenny was a character and posed for the camera. Mei Mei made a sand castle, and Snugglebug just buried his toes in the sand and watched everyone else.

Probably one of the longest running shows at the fair is Billy Roy's One Man Band. Strike the image of the man from America's Got Talent. This man really does have talent. He took a few years off and I realized the first year that we didn't see him that he is without a doubt my favorite act at the fair. He plays ten different instruments and sings (he doesn't count his voice as an instrument.) He's a delight to watch. He has more coordination in his pinky than I have in my entire clumsy body.

Other side shows included: The Bird's of the World (an awesome display of the biggest and most exquisite birds flying from the ferris wheel into an amphitheater), A High Dive act based on Pirates of the Caribbean (more than a little cheesy), a dog diving act, and pig races.

The Butter Sculpture: Another favorite and a must-see. Yes, it is ALL butter. I'm not sure who came up with the idea. It started 5 or 6 years ago and we're still amazed. The sculpture is in a refigerated case and is entirely of butter. Shhh, don't tell Paula Deene what they've done with the wonderful stuff.

The kids using up the last of the bubbles while we eat.

Our final and most important fair tradition is a family photo. In years past these photos have ended up taped to our mirror, framed on the wall, and tucked in our wallets. It's not so much that we look so great in these photos. We always take them at the end of the day, and we look hot and sunburned. It's that the photos show the thrills of the day. We can look back and see all the memories we made on that day. No make-up needed to make a perfectly memorable photo.

Back Row: (l to r) Jennifer, My sweet hubby, Snugglebug, Derek
Front Row: (l to r) Mei Mei, Kenny

Snugglebug's Big Boy Haircut

2010-10-15T07:33:00.004-05:00

Snugglebug actually requested a hair cut. We were headed out of the mall, and he was pulling at his hair and pointing at the barber shop where we usual take him and his daddy for a hair cut. He was quite adamant that he be taken to the barber. When we went inside, we had to tell him multiple times that he couldn't walk right in. He had to wait his turn. When his turn finally came, he walked right in. The barber set the cushions in the seat and Snugglebug sat quite willingly. This is the very first time for him to sit alone in the chair. Add to that, he sat very still, never complaining, just gently brushing the hair from the arms of the chair ever so often. The barber commented that he sat more still than some adults. Everyone watching was amazed, including us. It's always a surprise when your little one suddenly grows up right before your eyes.

Snugglebug's haircut. No more mullet. You can't see my face behind the camera but I am grinning ear to ear. The length of Snugglebug's hair has been an ongoing argument since his first haircut. But, Snugglebug made the decision this time. And he loves it! He looks like a big boy!!

7q11.23 Duplication: A Mom's View

2010-10-05T07:49:00.005-05:00

My sweet Snugglebug has been babbling away and is now starting to say little words like "Hi" and "Bye." It is very quiet, almost a whisper and either before the person is in view or after they have left. It's hard to explain the excitement of a whispered "bye". It is hard to explain anything regarding my child. On the outside, he looks perfectly fine. Many just assume he is quiet or extremely shy. He really isn't either. I just nod and agree because there is no way to explain it.

I'll never forget one day in the grocery store; someone else's kids were running a muck through the store, screaming, yelling, etc. Snugglebug sat quietly in the cart, helping as he always does. A very nice senior lady approached us and said, "I'm glad your child isn't like those others." I just answered simply, "thank you."

But, I digress. Life with a child with a rare genetic syndrome is interesting. Everything you had planned before the baby was born is completely negated. The adventures to the zoo, the friends in mom's groups, the swim lessons, and yes, the Spanish lessons. I'm an ultra-planner and had it all planned out.

Now, we are approaching three-years old and having to consider pre-school, which oddly enough was the original plan. But, there is a difference when you are home everyday and considering two-day a week pre-school. You're ready to get rid of them for a few hours a week. We are already on the road at least two-days a week and turning loose of him for two more is a daunting thought. We have so little time to be mom-and-son on an adventure called childhood. Our childhood adventure has been shortened by two years because of his genetic disorder and the delays that go with it. While he is progressing, he has a long way to go before he is ready for kindergarten.

Another Dup Group (our support group for 7q11.23 duplication) mom said it best when she said that our kids just need more education than the average child. We have to think about schools earlier and have to think about summer schools when they are older.

It is impossible to explain the emotions connected to sending him to pre-school. They are confusing even to me and I'm the one feeling them. I want my little boy to have a great educational experience which means giving him the head start that he needs, but selfishly I want to experience all those mommy-adventures with him and there are so many we haven't had yet.

When I voice my feelings, I am always reminded by the listener that it could be worse. I realize that and don't forget that I am blessed to have a child as healthy as he is, but it does not negate the emotions that I feel.

I cannot express the emotions when he speaks a word; I cannot express the emotions when we have to skip a playdate because of therapy or a doctor's appointment; I cannot express the emotions of sending my child to school at three when he shouldn't be leaving the house till he is five; I cannot express the emotions when I realize that his annual expenses are the equivalent to my sister's three kids all total.

So many emotions from a mom with one child; All of them churned up by the thought of sending him to preschool. We are off to therapy in a few minutes and during those two hours of therapy and the hour and a half round trip to and from, I'll try to squelch the emotions because one cannot function with such emotions. One must push them aside and focus on the moment at hand.

For me two-years, one month, and two weeks seems just like that. It hasn't flown by. To live in the moment is the only way to savor each moment, no matter how few they may be. They don't grow up near as fast as you think they do when you are experiencing every single moment. Yet, it is still never enough.

I Samuel 14--My Commentary

2010-10-02T21:07:00.002-05:00

I am half-way through my 3-year trek through the Bible. I am now in I Samuel and have read every chapter more than once, thus the reason that my trek is 3-years instead of 1-year. I want to absorb the scripture.

Chapter 14:6-13 has really struck a cord with me.

In chapter 14, Saul is once again battling the Philistines. This time they are winning and the Israelite troops have scattered and are hiding in caves. Saul and his advisers are pondering what to do next. Jonathan, Saul's son, decides to take matters in his own hands.

v.6: Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, "Come, let's go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised fellows. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few."

Jonathan was not convinced that the Lord had left them. His faith was not shaken. While the other troops were hiding, he was pushing forward by himself. He did not wait for the leader or anyone else to start thinking the way he did. He just took up his armor and went to do the job he felt God had called him to do.

v.7-"Do all that you have in mind," his armor-bearer said. "Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul."
v.8-Jonathan said, "Come, then; we will cross over toward the men and let them see us.
v.9-If they say to us, 'Wait there until we come to you,' we will stay where we are and not go up to them.
v.10-But if they say, 'Come up to us,' we will climb up, because that will be our sign that the Lord has given them into our hands."
v.11-So both of them showed themselves to the Philistine outpost. "Look!" said the Philistines. "The Hebrews are crawling out of the holes they were hiding in."
v.12-The men of the outpost shouted to Jonathan and his armor-bearer, "Come up to us and we'll teach you a lesson." So Jonathan said to his armor-bearer, "Climb up after me; the Lord has given them into the hand of Israel."

Jonathan did not wait for a priest to tell him what to do. He laid the possibilities before himself, his armor bearer, and God. If they were to ask him to "Come" then he would know God is on their side, and they should proceed.

The Philistines did call Jonathan to come. The answer was clear. The way for them to proceed was clear. And it was all because Jonathan's faith in God was not shaken and his courage to proceed was not limited to the number of people with him.

I asked my dad, who has been studying the Bible for more years than I've been alive, why situations can't be so obvious now. Why can't we say to God if this is "a" then we will proceed?" My Dad explained that "God speaks to people where they are." He meets you. You do not have to rise to His level in order to follow him. And, yes, those situations do happen today.

Later, I realized that at times the situation is as obvious as Jonathan's. The path that seems impossible is laid out before us. The answer is clear. The way to proceed is clear. But, for it all to be clear to us, we must have an unshakable faith and the courage to step forward whether we have anyone with us or not. If we only have our armor bearer with us, we must have the courage to move forward and follow God.

Who knew faith and courage went hand-in-hand? Who knew that the son of Saul could teach us so much about following God?

Book Review: The Treasure of God's Word: Celebrating 400 Years of the King Jamaes Bible

2010-10-02T13:48:00.004-05:00

I was looking forward to reviewing this book for Thomas Nelson and was profoundly disappointed. I expected a book with an indepth history of the King James Bible as well as examples of how the language, punctuation, and spelling have changed over the centuries. What I found is that the book is your typical topical gift edition. Choose a topic ranging from God's Love to Our Servanthood and you have a half dozen scriptures from the King James related to that topic. Interspersed is a brief history of the King James. The book is 164 pages and 16 of those pages are dedicated to the history of the beloved book. The history given can be found in a quick internet search and ten minutes of reading Wikipedia. They even mention that "pages 20 and 56 are adapted from wikipedia.com."

The book itself has a beautiful leather cover and gilded pages. The pages have a wonderful slick feel to them giving you the feeling of having a very expensive book. At $16.99, I would say this is an expensive book for what you get. This would make a nice gift for a new baptismal candidate or perhaps a newly ordained pastor. Outside of giving it as a gift to someone, I would not voluntarily purchase this.

If this book is a celebration of 400 years of the most popular and widely read version of a Bible, it is the equivalent to a 40th birthday party being held at Chuck E. Cheese. Instead of serving Champagne at the celebration they served a light beer. It does not celebrate the 400 years of the King James Bible and is not a beneficial resource.

Shift Change

2010-09-18T20:20:00.003-05:00

There are two things that will make a police wife quake in her boots. The first is the THE phone call. You know the one that ends with the wife racing out the door to the hospital. The second is shift change.

Seriously, shift changes are like earthquakes to the police officer's family. While not always bad enough to cause the pictures to fall off the wall, it will at least shake things up a bit and leave you not wanting to open the soda for a few days.

In our 7 1/2 years of marriage, we have had 6 shift changes. Five of those were in the first 4 1/2 years. But, for the last three years, and for all of Snugglebug's life, we have been on the same shift. We have thoroughly enjoyed not having to shake up our little world because to be honest, Snugglebug shakes it up enough by himself.

For the last three years, we have been on 3rd watch. It is not the easiest shift and certainly not the hardest. I can attest to that since we have literally had every possible schedule.

This shift change is from 3rd watch (evenings, 4pm to midnight) to 2nd watch (days, 8am to 4pm). We actually were given a choice this time, which is also unusual. We weighed the pros and cons and decided that it would be nice to have dinner together as a family in the evenings.

Less than a week after making the decision and being notified that the transfer had been accepted, we learned the move would only be temporary. In four months, my hubby will be transferred back to third watch. So, in two weeks we begin the shake-up. We have already started changing schedules and thinking about new routines. And about the time we get used to the new schedule and routines, we will change back to what we have now. How's that for confusing?

With the shift change, we will eat dinner together as a family every night for the first time since Snugglebug's birth and since our first year of marriage. (He was working days when we first married.) For the last three years, we have been on opposite schedules, for the most part and now, we will be on the same schedule. It will be odd.

As it stands now, I am used to eating with just Snugglebug and going through the bedtime routine without help. I've never had someone there to look after Snugglebug while I get dinner on the table or to help with the bedtime routine. I don't really know what I am missing, but after four months of being a family, it will be hard to go back to dinners without hubby and being on opposite ends of the day from one another. Ah, the joy of being a police wife. One never has to worry about boredom.

Book Review: Dad's Bible: The Father's Plan with notes by Robert Wolgemuth

2010-09-17T15:58:00.002-05:00

The Dad's Bible is the companion to the Mom's Bible which I reviewed a few months back. I am not sure what I was expecting when I received this Bible but was a little disappointed to see it is basically an exact replica of the Mom's Bible. The exception is where the word Mother appears it is replaced with Father. It also has a Question and Answer section in the back as well as a topical index. Nether of these are in the Mom's Bible.

While the notes are attributed to Robert Wolgemuth in the Dad's Bible the same notes are also credited to him as well as his wife and four other women. I find it interesting that the women as well as his wife are not credited in the Dad's Bible.

This Bible has the same basic characteristics of the Mom's Bible in that it seems to condense and simplify the scripture. For a quick read, this Bible is fine but for an intensive husband and wife study, I would not recommend this Bible. The notes are interesting but when paired with scripture that has been simplified it is not worth using as a study Bible.

To read the review on the Mom's Bible follow this link: Mom's Bible

The Great Cat Chase

2010-09-14T22:32:00.003-05:00

I was beginning to wonder today if I am actually going to survive this age known as "something twos." I hate the word so I won't utter it, write it, or even confess to it. But, alas, my 2 1/2 year old son has been two ALL day. I keep asking him to be four for just five minutes. But, it doesn't work that way. I was pondering the odds of my survival after having placed him in time-out for at least the tenth time in an hour.

What did he do to deserve such treatment you ask? The even better question is what was he doing that he didn't seem to mind being placed in time-out.

My story begins an hour earlier when Snugglebug grabbed a window-perched sleeping cat by the tail and gave it a good yank. The poor cat woke from her slumber and tried to fend off her attacker only to get tangled in the curtain. Snugglebug thought this was grand....And the chase was on. The cat extricated herself from the curtain and ran like mad. I can only assume she hid under the bed because even though Snugglebug took off after her the chase ended abruptly. All this was related to me by our babysitter who was with him while I was grocery shopping. Snugglebug was distracted from the cat while I brought in the groceries and started re-heating our left-overs.

But, just as I am putting dinner on the table, the cat reappears. Faith, the cat, hops onto the dining room table (I'm sure smelling the delish pork chops). Snugglebug hops into the chair and proceeds to climb onto the table after her.

"Don't chase the cat," I yell from the kitchen. But the cat dives under the table, followed by Snugglebug who doesn't seem to care that I haven't swept the floor in ....Well, I won't finish that sentence.

Faith runs around the outside corner of the table followed by Snugglebug who is slowed down only because the table is so close to the wall. Faith leaps onto the back of the sofa where only months before she had been safe, but no more! Snugglebug had previously placed his jumping horse next to the sofa and leaped onto the back of the horse and was immediately eye level to the cat. In an instant, Faith leaped onto the sofa, under the coffee table, and around the end of the sofa.

"Don't chase the cat," I yell again as Snugglebug also dives onto the seat of the sofa and under the coffee table. "Stop chasing the cat," I say again, presuming that my son can hear. I must have a word with that audiologist. She is obviously wrong! (No comments correcting me because it is easier for me to accept that my son is deaf than disobedient.)

Snugglebug attempts to dive under the end table by the sofa only inches from the cat who lets out a loud "rowr, hiss." Snugglebug giggles. And I grab him by his disappearing feet and say again, "Don't chase the cat."

I explain while wrestling him into time-out that we don't chase the cat. She doesn't like it. And there he stayed for two minutes while I and the cat catch our breath. In case you are wondering why he stayed in time-out, it is because time-out is a good old fashioned play pen. You know the kind with the wooden bottom and chicken wire sides. There's no escaping!

But, alas, chasing the cat was well worth two minutes in time-out. Obviously, giving the cat a two minute head start just added to the fun. After releasing Snugglebug from time-out and explaining that we don't chase the cats, he immediately went in search of the cat who was again on the dining room table.

"Rowr,hiss," she dives. Snugglebug giggles. "Don't chase the cat!" I demand, as if it matters.

"Rowr, hiss, Faith jumps. Snugglebug giggles. "Don't chase the cat!" I command, like I have any power at all at the moment.

Repeat time-out process. Repeat the cat chase about 8 or 9 more times. By 20 minutes till 7:00 I am wondering if I will actually survive all this. Even though Snugglebug is only supposed to be in time-out for two minutes, the last session was a bit longer. Faith thanked me later. This time I didn't turn Snugglebug loose. I realized at this point that it was far more fun to chase the cat than it was agonizing to sit in time-out. We spent the next 15 minutes coloring while he sat in my lap. Yes, that works too. Faith thanked me later for that, too.

At 7:00 sharp! I put Snugglebug to bed and finally got to eat supper.

Summer Entertainment

2010-09-11T07:43:00.006-05:00

The temperature index this week is supposed to be around 105 degrees. This is good because it means our summer entertainment will hang with us for a little longer.

Hanging outside the kitchen window, the dining room window, and the living room window are very well visited hummingbird feeders. I go through about a 4 lb bag of sugar a week to feed these flying creatures. Every morning the feeders are visited by at least a half dozen hummingbirds. They flit and light and feed and flit off again. We sit at breakfast and watch them come and go and fight for a seat. I'm sure they wish for call ahead seating, but alas the restaurant has no phone.

This is our third summer to put out hummingbird feeds, but this is the first summer in several years where we have had a second visitor to entertain us.

The second visitor is a giant garden spider. She has made her web across the span of half of our dining room window. It is an incredibly elegant web with perfect angles and a perfect zig-zag down the center. Every morning she either rebuilds the web or patches and repairs it.

I have jokingly called her Charlotte for obvious reasons, but she doesn't seem to like the name so we have just called her "She". She is perfectly harmless, eating only bugs. She would never eat a human or even bite one. And if She did, it would be harmless as they are not poisonous. She is called a Garden Spider because that is where you typically find them. They are the gardener's friend. If you have one of these in amongst your plants, you count yourself lucky and count less bugs.

She has eaten her fair share of bugs this summer. We have watched her roll up grasshoppers, beetles, and wasps. This in itself is an all day process and incredibly fascinating. But, it is watching her spin her web that is the most fascinating. Typically, the sun is rising while we eat breakfast and the eastern sun glints off her web and each strand that she adds to it. It's as though a spotlight is on her alone.

She has been a great advocate for her species. My husband, who is no defender of spiders and despises them, seems to be admiring her if not even enjoying watching her. Just yesterday, he excitedly announced, "She's caught a grasshopper." Then stood and watched her wind it up into her web.

We thought we had lost her during the recent storms (courtesy of Tropical Storm Hermine). The wind and rain tossed her to and fro. She desperately tried to retain her web. Running from one side to the other and one end to the other anxiously repairing the wind damage. We, of course, had a full day and as usual were out the door, rain or not, by 8:30 am. When we returned late in the afternoon, She was gone. I was saddened that our friend had not escaped the ravages of the storm, but that is nature for you. I was pleasantly surprised the next morning to see her and her lovely web right where it belonged. She gave up on her web and sought shelter in the storm and returned with a new web and ready to start again.

As I type this, She is hanging outside the window and just beyond her web is the hummingbird feeder. The hummingbirds come and go and will occasionally peer through the spider web and through the window to thank me for my hospitality.

Beyond the spider and the hummingbirds and all their antics is an amazing sunrise!

Who's Next?

2010-09-08T22:21:00.000-05:00

We have an interesting phenomenon going on in our church. It's causing those of us left stateside to look at each other with side-long glances and wonder what conversations are taking place behind closed doors.

Three years ago, our pastor and his family were called to Brazil as missionaries. Two years later, a second family was called to the mission field. Only this time to Honduras. This summer, we sent them off with much prayer to share God's love with Honduran orphans.

Now, the jokes fly amongst those of us who are stateside. Who's next and don't be my friend because my friends end up in the mission field.

But, all joking aside, there is an intense quest by the members of our church to know the Lord and to follow his calling. Families have adopted children from CPS and from overseas as a result. Others are intently studying the Word of God. Books on missions are being read. Postings on Facebook appear to be rather book-club-like, yet it is mere coincidence that two people read one book on missions at the same time, while another began it shortly after the other two had finished. And yet, two others set out to find said book on missions after seeing the postings.

As I stand worshiping on Sunday mornings, I can't help but wonder, who's next. Who will God call next to witness to the lost and hungry. My husband and I joked that it could be us. And, all joking aside, it could be. Both sets of friends underwent an amazing transformation as God knocked on their hearts and requested their services. While we think, no never, not me, and we pray, please don't send me to Africa, God could just be waiting for us to take a breath so he can invite us to join His grand plan to bring his love to all nations.

Overall, in my circle of friends and acquaintances and even a friend of a friend, I am aware of 5 families who are entering or have entered the mission field. That's a lot of people sharing the goodnews of Christ. And while you read this, I send a side-long glance at you and wonder, "are you next or am I next?" Which one of us will be the next to say, "send me"?

Of Papas and BowBays

2010-09-07T21:57:00.002-05:00

The most frustrating thing about 7q11 duplication is the inability of a child with a brilliant mind to share his or her brilliant thoughts. I often look at my 2 1/2 year old and wonder what is going through his head. What would he say if he could make his mouth make sounds? What questions would he ask? What words or phrases would he repeat without ceasing? The understanding and comprehension is there. I can see such comprehension on his face and through his actions. I recognized that a year ago when we began speech therapy with our wonderful speech and language pathologist.

We began therapy a year ago almost to the day. A year ago at 1 1/2 years of age, Snugglebug barely made a sound. It was rare to hear anything at all from him, let alone speech appropriating sounds. We began with sign language, and now, he has a vocabulary over 100 words. We celebrated each word as that was a step toward communication. Then grunts showed up and the occasional repetitive sound. More sounds crept into his repertoire, but nothing significant and yet all building blocks.

In August, we took a vacation and a week and a half break from speech therapy. The second session after our break, he officially crossed over from single sound repetition into multi-sound babbling. The therapist and I were overjoyed, cheering, and encouraging more sounds from him.

A week after that Gabriel said his first official word. PAPA...He was visiting his grandparents, my husband's parents, and called out to Papa in the other room. "Papa, Papa" he shouted loud and clear till his grandfather answered him. Yes, it's official! We have a word!

Then this weekend on Labor Day, while visiting with my family, Snugglebug, who adores his newest cousin, announced the 6 month old, "BowBay" he shouted while also signing "Baby." If he hadn't also been signing, I don't think I would have realized he was speaking his version of the word Baby. Yes, we have another word! BowBay for baby! Again I was rejoicing and jumping up and down and telling him what a wonderful word it was.

So, in one year of speech therapy, we have two words and over 100 signs. If another year of speech therapy gives us 100 spoken words, I will be the happiest mom on the planet!

One Fine Day

2010-08-07T14:15:00.013-05:00

One fine July day, we ventured to one of our favorite places, Ararat Acres. Ararat Acres is a post in itself, but if you are curious you can visit Liz's blog at The Bee's Knees. She posts about life on the farm.
We met Ararat Acres' newest family member, a miniature donkey named Diego and affectionately called "Donkey Boy." Donkey Boy isn't much taller than Snugglebug.

Snugglebug wasn't sure about Donkey Boy. As far as Snugglebug was concerned Donkey Boy was still bigger than he was. But, for Donkey Boy, he saw another miniature just like him and immediately fell in love.

But, meeting Donkey Boy was only the appetizer, the real treat was apple picking. Snugglebug picked his first apple and thought that was heaven on earth. Apples are one of his favorite foods and pulling them off the tree was tons of fun.

For the apples too high for him to reach, I picked him up. He reached and grabbed them without any effort. And for those wondering what happened after he pulled them from the tree...He gingerly dropped them in the bucket. Okay, so some of the apples ended up slightly bruised but they all became apple sauce or apple butter in the end, so it didn't really matter.

Of course, you cannot pick apples without working up an appetite. While Liz and I picked the higher apples, we let Snugglebug take a break...And, of course, eat an apple. YUMMO!!

Once apple picking had been finished, we retired to the house for some fresh watermelon and cantaloupe! Unbeknownst to Liz and I, Charlie, Liz's husband captivated Snugglebug with his guitar and banjo. Snugglebug was entranced by the music but even more so by the ability to produce the music.

Keep in mind that Snugglebug is only 2 1/2. The typical two year old is a disaster waiting to happen and certainly should not be let anywhere near a guitar or banjo, but Charlie let Snugglebug hold and play the banjo. For the next 45 minutes, Charlie instructed Snugglebug on the fine points of banjo playing. And by the end of the lesson, Snugglebug was holding the banjo just like Charlie held his guitar and strumming the strings with his little fingers. Something tells me we may have guitar or banjo lessons in our future.

We ended the morning with dueling banjos and a very fine performance it was. I wish I had my video camera! It was a sight to behold.

I'm Back...

2010-08-07T12:04:00.003-05:00

Back by popular demand! All 12 of my readers have requested that I return to blogging. This has been an incredibly busy summer, so I hope to catch you up and continue to post as fall rolls around.

Snugglebug is 2 1/2 and a busy little fellow. Between Speech Therapy twice a week, Occupational Therapy once a week, Storytime with friends every Wednesday, play-dates on Tuesdays, birthday parties, church get-togethers, and just your basic weekends, we have not had a whole lot of down-time for things like blogging, reading, and watching TV. Through it all we have managed to find a nice balance between therapies, doctors, friends, and social engagements. While we have scurried from one thing to another, we have had an equal amount of fun as we have work.

My hope is that despite our busy schedule, we, Snugglebug and I,will look back on this summer and say, "This is the summer friendships began." I don't think we will look back and see a hurried season that blurs one day into the next. I think we will look back at events such as Storytime each week and remember fondly playing with friends, reading fun books, singing even more fun songs, and simply enjoying a hot, summer day with friends.

Book Review: The Hole in our Gospel by Richard Stearns

2010-05-11T19:54:00.002-05:00

I passed up the opportunity to review this book once already. I wasn't sure what the "hole" could possibly be in our gospel. That title could have so many meanings. So let me clear it up for you. The hole in our gospel is quite simply the fact that we all too often pass by the beggar at the gate rather than stop to help the man. We argue that we don't have money, or time, or means to help the man and that someone else should help him who is better equipped.

But, Stearns points out throughout the book that the job is ours and not someone else's. We as Christians are to do what Jesus would do. Jesus would not pass by the man, but help him in whatever way he could at that moment.

Richard Stearns is the President of World Vision. You hear about World Vision a lot throughout the book, and at some points feel your are being sold on World Vision, but the sales pitch isn't to donate to World Vision. The sales pitch is to listen to and follow the calling God lays on our heart, no matter what that may be. Stearns uses his experiences throughout his life and as President of World Vision to highlight exactly what he means. His stories are poignant, and I was reaching for tissues on more than one occasion.

The stories are of individuals living in the situation that he is writing about whether that be about disease, lack of water, or poverty. The stories, as he explains, are meant to break down the statistics that make it so hard for us to comprehend the plight of those in South America or Africa. The stories do just that. They tear at the heart strings and make you ask yourself, "why didn't I know this before."

The last half of the book is about ways in which you can make the world a better place. He talks about ways other churches and individuals have worked together and on their own to achieve the calling God placed on their heart. In many cases, it did not mean packing up and heading to Africa. These people made a difference in the jobs and from their homes. But, they heeded the calling.

And the last chapter, gives you step by step instructions on how to get involved and how to get others involved. You are not left empty handed.

In the last chapters, Stearns talks about the calling of missionaries and equates it to becoming a radioactive Christian. The radioactivity builds to a point that is boils over, meaning that God's calling reaches a fervent pitch and you pack up your belongings and take the Gospel elsewhere. I found myself asking if I am a radioactive Christian. But, even more importantly I found myself asking if those who I sit next to in church are radioactive Christians. I am proud to say that while I may not yet be radioactive, I am working that direction. And those I sit with in church are on the same patch as I am. A radioactive nightmare for Satan is brewing in our small town. I can't wait to see what happens when it explodes!!

Book Review: The Sacred Journey by Charles Foster

2010-04-28T08:56:00.001-05:00

Foster warns in the preface of Sacred Journey that we will not agree with everything he writes. He was very correct in that assumption. While I found myself agreeing with certain ideas, others were completely lost on me. Part of that is because I went into this book expecting the idea of a journey to be metaphorical and not realistic. Foster is not speaking of a metaphorical pilgrimage but an actual pilgrimage, an actual walk to Jerusalem.

All throughout the book he quotes individuals who actually set out on foot on a journey or pilgrimage to find something. Different people are looking for different things. For the most part, they are discovering the true meaning of their lives and learning to appreciate the things around them. He explains on page 31, “The pilgrim will be given new eyes for the suffering. He’ll see a limp in a passerby that he wouldn’t have seen on a New York street, and will find that he’s bandaged the bleeding heel of Jesus.”

While I totally agree that this is the way to see the world, I don’t think a literal pilgrimage is necessary. I think a mission trip to another city or even within one’s own city can open a person’s eyes in the same way.

No where does Foster talk about missions, he merely focuses on walking. He talks a lot about walking and the advantages thereof. His argument being that God wanted us to walk which is why the Israelites walked in the desert. I could easily argue that the Israelites walked because cars had not yet been invented. But, alas, I digress.

Foster makes many interesting points that are quite thought provoking. And while, the text itself is written on a higher level than the average book that I would read, I found it challenging to grapple with his complex thought process.

A reader looking for a book to challenge his reasoning and force him to really contemplate the writing will enjoy this book. One must think while reading this book and not merely read it for enjoyment. This book is work! And unless you are interested in the history of pilgrimage as well as the reasons to go on a pilgrimage, you might also find it a bit boring.

I did not enjoy this book, and found myself having to really work to finish it.

Quest for Acceptance: We are Flawed!

2010-02-15T20:16:00.006-06:00

We are flawed! While that doesn't seem like a revelation, it really is. Stop and think about it. How many times have we been disapointed in ourselves for not succeeding or for something not being perfect or perhaps for not doing as good a job as someone else? How many times have we judged others for not doing a good job at something? We gauge ourselves on a standard that would require perfection to achieve and that is just not possible.

While cleaning out my closets, I discovered just how much of a perfectionist I am. I have dozens of projects half-finished because they were too flawed for me to even spend the time finishing them. I would toss it aside with the others in hopes of correcting the flaws at a later date or even starting over and making the next project flawless. Thus my flaw is my perfectionism.

But, my desire for perfection doesn't stop with craft projects but extends to motherhood. I expected so much of myself before becoming a mother. I had a long list of things I was going to do and a tall pile of books to teach me how to do them. None of those ideas worked, and no amount of books would provide me with a child who slept or who would stop crying from the pain of acid reflux.

My quest to be the perfect mom was flawed from the beginning, and it just went downhill from there. My other pre-baby idea was that all babies were born perfect. That's what we always hear. "He's perfect. Ten toes, ten fingers." "She's perfect and beautiful." My baby had a swollen eye that was completely closed. He was slightly jaundiced and not perfect.

But, before you chastise, acceptance begins with the realization that we are not perfect, not even as infants. We are not perfect physically or spiritually. We are born with the blood of our fathers polluted with the sins of Adam and Eve. Our bodies are just as flawed. If we weren't flawed, we certainly wouldn't need the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ or the help of a gracious God.

In my pursuit of perfection, I certainly would not have found any need to call on God for help if I had had a perfectly healthy child, who slept through the night, and did not have acid reflux. I certainly would not have called on God for provision if we had not found ourselves in a situation in which we could not provide for our son and his medical needs.

I've received some backlash for focusing on my son's health issues and speech delays, but in truth, I am realizing that by focusing on his imperfections, I am seeing God working in miraculous ways. By accepting that life is not perfect, that my son is not perfect, that I am not perfect, and that our situation is not perfect, I am admitting that our life is a perfect place for God to show his handiwork.

Thus, I am, as a non-professional, suggesting that the first step to acceptance is accepting that we are all flawed, physically and spiritually, and that we need a God that is greater than our flaws and more gracious than we deserve. But, most importantly, because of our flaws and imperfections, we must rely on God to get us through, to provide for us, and to give us the strength in the tough times.

Operation: Clean Up Your Messy House

2010-02-11T12:17:00.002-06:00

The unpublicized quest to clean my house of all the clutter actually began last year. Oprah had a challenge where you could sign-up for the challenge and her cleaning guru would send you monthly instructions with the goal of having a clutter free home in 5-6 months. It sounded like a good idea, so I signed up for the monthly newsletters. But, low and behold, reading newsletters doesn't get a house clean.

I had every intention of cleaning my house and ridding us of all the clutter but about the same time, we had two car accidents in two days and my son was diagnosed with 7q11.23 duplication. My focus turned to him and to putting our lives back together after so much chaos knocked all our socks off.

This January, I took up the cause again! Actually, it was the last week of December. I made a plan to clean one room and one closet each week. I stuck to it, and am proud to say that as of Monday, I have accomplished the task of cleaning up my messy house. The clutter is still here, as I have dreams of a garage sale once all the snow melts and the weather warms. I would love a little extra cash from all that clutter. It would sure seem like it was all worth keeping.

While I am overjoyed to have clean closets and a clutter-free house, I found myself dealing with a lot of emotional baggage while discarding so much junk. I was astonished by the shear magnitude of stuff that we had collected, hung on-to, and refused to simply let go of. Letting go became the theme for the 6 weeks that it took to clean everything. There's a reason for all that junk. There's a reason for hanging onto the junk. But to see the reason, one must be willing to look beyond the mess into one's own heart and mind. And, that's exactly what I did.

I discovered a great deal about myself while looking at items that had a purpose but were never used for that purpose. I don't want to unload what I discovered, but know that I know far more about myself after having cleaned out my closets than I ever knew before.

I would challenge anyone surrounded by clutter whether it be at your office, in your closet or somewhere in your house to clean up your mess, and in the process, examine why the clutter exists, and what you can learn about yourself by clearing it out. It is an incredible process, and while painful in the moment, well worth it in the end.

Book Review: Mom's Bible with Notes by Bobbie Wolgemuth

2010-02-11T11:32:00.003-06:00

I haven't had time to read much lately, but have been determined to stick to my Read Through the Bible challenge. So what little reading I have done has been Bible reading. Which is why when Thomas Nelson had a new Bible up for review I jumped on the opportunity.

The Mom's Bible: God's Wisdom for Mothers with Notes by Bobbie Wolgemuth is written in the New Century Version. I had never heard of NCV until I saw this Bible. I am by no means a scholar of translations but did some research and learned that the NCV began as a Bible written for the deaf, leaving out the common theological terms that they would not have heard or be familiar and simplifying the text to make it easier to understand. The NCV is not the same version, but the text is nevertheless quite simplified and reads a bit like a Reader's Digest version of the Bible. Theological terms that we have come to understand are replaced with simpler words. For instance, covenant is replaced with agreement. Tabernacle is replaced with tent of meeting. In my opinion, these changes take away from the meaning of the text.

With that said, I would like to say that the Mom's Bible is a great Bible for quick reads. If you need a moment to remind yourself that someone is in your corner while all the kids are in their corner, then this Bible is for you. This Bible is fast food for the Biblically hungry. I was able to read three chapters from Numbers while my son watched Sesame Street. Fast food or not, I felt much better after having spent some time reading the Bible. This Bible is not the best for in-depth studies, but for those quick reads while eating breakfast, this one will do the job.

The notes are written by Bobbie Wolgemuth and four other busy moms. I found the notes to be very insightful and thought provoking. They are not long and also make for a quick read. They are a bit like mini-studies over a couple of chapters.

The Bible itself is a great mom-tool as well. It is hard-backed with thicker pages than the normal Bible. This is good because, as I found out from experience, blueberry muffin wipes off fairly easily. My NIV study Bible would have immediately been ruined with muffin soaking through multiple onion-skin pages. The text is a bit small, but this allows the book itself to be thinner which in turn allows a person, even with small hands, to hold the book with one hand while spooning oatmeal with the other.

I would give this book 3 stars only because of my dislike for changing such important words in the text. As a fast food source, I would give it 4 stars. Every mom needs a source of fast food nearby for those occasions when gourmet just won't do.

Quest for Acceptance: Conversation

2010-01-27T19:33:00.003-06:00

Since first posting about my quest for acceptance, I have been thrilled and relieved at the conversations that have begun. Conversations about what is "special needs" to what is "normal" to what is "acceptance" have all been discussed with great sincerity. I have been pleasantly surprised by people's willingness to discuss these subjects and even to set aside any feelings of judgment.

The openness of the conversations makes me wonder what would we learn if we were willing to set aside prejudices and judgment and have open, honest conversations about taboo subjects such as teen pregnancy and contraception, and debt and finances? What could we learn if we were willing to admit that we have faults and need help and advice from those who have gone before us?

The only thing that keeps me, personally, from admitting my weaknesses is the fear of being judged, and the fear of being told that my feelings are not legitimate. What would happen if we accepted the fact that not everyone is happy and successful in every situation?

What if we set aside judgments and criticisms and accepted that each person is an individual who deserves to be heard?

Thank you to everyone who have opened their hearts and minds and listened with such sincerity. It encourages me to be more open and honest with all of you and in that I live more authentically.

There will be more posts to come on Acceptance, but it may be a little while in coming. This quest will be ongoing for quite some time.

Quest for Acceptance: Cliff Jumping

2010-01-25T12:45:00.002-06:00

Cliff jumping is the sport of jumping off a cliff into a deep pool of water. The thought of cliff jumping sounds like quite rush! Free falling through the air and hitting the cool water below sounds exciting. But then...I rememeber....I can't swim! Yes, literally. I can tread water, but swimming from one end of the pool to the other...no. Thus, once I hit the water, those with me would have to jump in to save me, dragging out my flailing body and ruining the fun for everyone! So, cliff jumping is completely disregarded as a possible sport for me.

Yesterday's post seemed a bit on the heavy side, so to ensure my friends and readers that I am not considering cliff jumping, I wanted to share a little more today.

While cliff jumping is a good metaphor for acceptance, bungee jumping is probably a better. In cliff jumping you have no one to catch you at the bottom; no one holding the rope if you will. In bungee jumping you have people there and a very nice, heavy bungee rope to catch you before you hit the bottom and bring you back up to safety.

It has been a little over 12 hours since my last post, and already, I have had several great, thought provoking comments, and two wonderful conversations. I realized today that those friends and family with whom I have already spoken to are the ones at the top of the bungee looking out for me and encouraging me. While I feel like I am cliff jumping with no support and no one to catch me or rescue, the truth is I have friends all around me who are a greater support than I realized.

I remember the Sunday after my son's diagnosis when my friend, Liz, said to me, "You two are a perfect match." She was talking about my son and I, but other than that I was clueless to understand what she meant. I asked myself, "what does she know about me, that I don't know?" The answer is a LOT! Even though, I am not good about sharing my feelings, my friends see who I really am and strive to understand me. I don't hide my true self from them. Why? Because they don't judge me, and they encourage me! Even not knowing the full extent of a situation, God uses our friendships to encourage us. Liz's statement has stuck in my mind and remained a constant source of encouragement to me. But, it is all to God's glory because he put her in my life to be one of several who will watch the rope as I bungee jump... or who would jump in after me should I choose to Cliff Jump!

I would be remiss if I did not encourage the anonymous person who stumbles across this post, to go out and live authentically and make some true friends and allow God to encourage you through them.

The Quest for 2010: Acceptance

2010-01-24T22:25:00.000-06:00

I pondered this post for a long time before sharing it with you, my readers. Last year, I shared a quest for Connectivity through which I gained such insight that it literally changed my outlook on life. By opening up my own quest for general discussion with family, friends, and anonymous readers, I learned so much more than I would have ever learned on my own. Pursuing a quest on one's own is never as successful as it is when in the company of comrades.

My new quest is for acceptance. No, I am not talking about acceptance to a club or clique, but the last step in the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

It was through the counsel of a person who has walked in my shoes and who shared with me some profound wisdom, that I realized that I was grieving the loss of motherhood or more specifically what I dreamed of as motherhood.

As a mom of a special needs child, she shared with me her walk through the five stages of grief after the birth of her son. Like my son, when you look at her son, he looks perfectly fine, but lurking beneath the surface is a horrible medical problem that would profoundly change her life, her husband's life, and the life of their eldest son. She shared that you have to grieve for the loss of the dream and perception of normalcy. She shared how she had traveled through the stages finally ending up at acceptance. She finally accepted that her son had medical problems, but that it was okay, and that she would be spending a great deal of time in doctor's offices and surgery waiting rooms.

"You have to work through the same five stages of grief till you can accept that your life is not normal." I was in tears as she explained all this and for the very first time put words to what I was feeling and unable to put words to.

You see while my son looks normal no one realizes the anguish that I feel because he is not 100% healthy. I am reminded daily of that as I wait for a dirty diaper or clean up spit-up from yet another acid reflux bout, or as I sit in the second or third doctor's appointment for the month with yet another specialist.

My son's diagnosis with 7q11.23 duplication is only a title to sum it all up: constipation, acid reflux, hypotonia (low muscle tone), speech delay, an undiagnosed sleep disorder, and various eye sight issues which require glasses and patching for two hours at a time. We see six specialists and our pediatrician twice as often as the average child for weight and growth checks. Twice he has been in the failure to thrive category. His speech has not progressed since he was eight months old. In order to achieve even the most normal milestone, it takes great effort on not only his part, but mine, and his occupational therapist. Every milestone accomplished is because he was taught by me or his therapist.

So I grieve and I pray.

The Quest for Acceptance: Permission Granted

2010-01-24T22:15:00.002-06:00

I grieve, and I pray. I grieve because while most parents make playdates, we make doctor's appointments; while most kids play at the park, we are at therapy. And I pray that one day my child will be normal, that he will grow out of his problems, that nurture can overcome the horrible genetic hand that nature dealt to us.

No one tells you that you can grieve over something other than death. No one tells you that you can grieve over the loss of a job or loss of health. No one tells you it is okay to feel the deep sense of loss when a dream never comes to fruition, whether that dream be motherhood or something else entirely. Some people have told me that it can always be worse, and I should be thankful. Grieving does not mean one is not thankful; it merely means one is forced to accept what was not originally planned.

So for the first year of my son's life, I was in denial. I accepted that things were just outside of normal. Then he was diagnosed at 14 months of age, and I moved to anger, bargaining, depression, and back again to anger overlapped by bargaining and depression.

Today, I sit at the precipice of acceptance. I say that only because I give myself permission to grieve. There are days that I am angry...angry with God...angry with myself...angry with people around me. There are days that depression overwhelms me, and I feel darkness closing in once again. But, through all the tears acceptance is near and acceptance is the quest. What does acceptance look like? I don't really know. What does acceptance feel like? I don't know that either. What lies beyond grief? I don't know that either. But, I give myself permission to grieve, so that I may see what is beyond grief. I give myself permission to ACCEPT!

Reason # 5--Why I don't have time to blog

2010-01-02T18:10:00.004-06:00

I joined a band!

Now, I know I have no musical talent whatsoever, but the Bible says "Make a joyful noise!"

Trains!!

2009-12-15T19:44:00.006-06:00

Today, we visited North Park Center in Dallas. The sole reason was to see The Trains! I saw a news story about the trains last year, and this year decided we should go. They charge $6 for adults and $4 for kids over two (making Snugglebug free!), but all the proceeds benefit Ronald McDonald House.

The trains are a collection of model trains that run through cities, around landmarks, and past people involved in their own little worlds. It is so incredible! They had the Dallas and New York skylines, the Statue of Liberty, and Mount Rushmore just to name a few. They had a winter wonderland that looked like you could just step into the snow and enjoy Christmas to the fullest. There was so much to see, we really could not take it all in! We were all three completely amazed!

Our amazing miniature train journey was followed by a children's choir singing in the mall foyer, a puppet Scrooge joking with the passersby in a hallway, and Santa reading a story to a passle of children in the courtyard. I had no idea a trip to the mall could be so entertaining!

As Scrooge the puppet pointed out, Snugglebug won't remember any of this, but hopefully this will be the first of many years to come (and those he will remember!)

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

2009-12-10T20:25:00.004-06:00

This year I decided we were ready to establish a Christmas tradition as a family, and I thought going to a tree farm and choosing our own tree would be a great one. I was all excited! I found a great tree farm about an hour north of us called Elves Tree Farm. What a great name for a tree farm, right?

They had a hayride to the trees where you could cut your own tree or you could choose a pre-cut tree. They also had some great play equipment for Snugglebug to play on.

We decided to forgo cutting our own tree this year, but once Snugglebug had played some we chose what I thought was the most beautiful tree I had ever seen. My husband thought that it might be a bit too big for our living room, but I thought we could make it fit.

Make it fit we did! The tree definitely does not fit in our living room. It is without a doubt wayyyyyy too big. I would even say it is probably twice the size that we should have purchased. But it is still quite beautiful. This is the first time we have had a live tree with the exception of our first Christmas together when I purchased a tree in a pot then planted it in our front yard after Christmas.

I chose to leave off the lights and to decorate with non-breakable silk Poinsettias because I knew the tree would be a great attraction to not only Snugglebug but also our three cats. I used a gold metallic ribbon to catch the light and add some shine to the tree. My sweet husband said it was "understated elegance." He's such a sweetie!

I'm thrilled that we were able to start this new tradition with our family. Next year...I'll take a measuring tape with me.

Pantene Beatuful Lengths

2009-11-19T17:27:00.004-06:00

For the last 6 months I have been letting my hair grow out. This was something I have been wanting to do for the longest time; but every time my hair gets within donation length, I can't stand it any longer, and I cut it.

So, two months ago, after having already been three or four months since my last trim and 6 months from my last major cut, I decided to wait another two months before I cut my hair. In those two months, my hair grew enough to cut and donate to Pantene Beautful Lengths. Pantene's program receives donations from individuals like me and creates wigs that are then given to cancer patients. This is such an awesome program, and finally, I got to be a part of it today.

My hair is a bit shorter than I had anticipated. The minimum length to donate is 8 inches. For about an hour last night, I considered waiting another month just so my hair wouldn't be that short. But, I decided to go ahead today! So, it's short, but it will grow again, and someone else will be wearing my hair at Christmas and enjoying my beautiful lengths!!

Reason #4 Why I Don't Have Time to Blog

2009-11-14T14:05:00.003-06:00

#4 Daddy's Day Off

Mommy is napping so Snugglbug will do this post...

On Daddy's day off, we like to go to IHOP. I love to eat pancakes dipped in syrup. I also like to help Daddy with his puzzles. He couldn't do his puzzles without my help.

We also like to go places like the Pumpkin Patch! I liked splashing in the mud at the Pumpkin Patch!!

Reason #3 Why I Don't Have Time to Blog

2009-11-14T13:36:00.003-06:00

#3 chores, chores, chores...

Chores are never ending and with a little one under foot, what used to take 10 minutes now takes all of an hour and sometimes more. I can't count the number of times I have folded a load of laundry more than twice! But, I have decided, if you can't beat them join them. So now, Snugglebug has his own chores!

Snugglebug's chores are feeding and watering the cats and cleaning out the dishwasher. (all with help of course)

Reason #2 Why I Don't Have Time to Blog

2009-11-14T13:22:00.005-06:00

#2 Sometimes you just have one of those days....

And you just need to veg with a good book or a good TV program....

Reason #1 Why I Don't Have Time to Blog

2009-11-06T21:45:00.006-06:00

For your enjoyment...

Since I can't seem to find the time to blog, I thought I would share a few reasons why.

1. Because messes are constantly being made....

Honesty--What Is It?

2009-09-13T20:22:00.003-05:00

The following is entirely my thoughts and not a reflection of today's sermon. In fact, my thoughts drifted along way from the sermon's point. I'll post a link to the sermon when the podcast is available.

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Our pastor preached on I John today and the importance of being honest with oneself and with God in regards to sin. The point of the message was that we are not perfect and need God's forgiveness, but first, we have to be honest about the fact that we have a sin that needs to be forgiven. He went on to explain that sin builds a barrier between us and God and breaks down our communication with God.

Following the sermon, a member gave his testimony that was so poignant! I had a lightbulb moment and realized, it would be so much easier to admit to our sin if we were not judged by those around us. It is so easy to tell a small lie or to be someone we are not when we are afraid of judgment.

Case in point: I once made a conscious decision to lie because I knew I was facing severe judgment. The incident was simple. I had not yet visited my newly born niece who lived three hours away. When asked about it the first time, I responded honestly and was profoundly admonished. The second time I was asked, and still I had not made the three hour drive, I lied to avoid judgment.

A friend of mine recently lied about the number of weeks she is pregnant because she had not shared the news with a relative. So she lied taking a month off her pregnancy so as not to be judged by the other person. Little did she know the other person would not have judged her, but it was her fear of being judged that propelled the lie.

With this thought in mind, I posted the following on Facebook:

When did honesty become devalued? Honesty with ourselves, honesty with others, and honesty with God is not given enough credit in our society. We should applaud anyone for being honest and not judge them for being honest. Yet, it is judgment that we receive for our honesty which in turn devalues that honesty.

While this post can be considered the age old question of "If my wife asks, 'do I look fat in this dress,' how do I answer?" It is not! The question is why can one not commit a sin--large or small--confess that sin and not be judged for it. Why can we not see past the sin and love the person where they are? God did so much more for us, and yet, we find it impossible to accept that people are sinners. We immediately judge and condemn their actions... as if we had that right.

Judgment is reserved for God alone. When a person shows true remorse and a desire to walk away from that seen and is seeking forgiveness, we should grant them the same love and forgiveness granted to us upon the cross.

I am not saying that punishment is not in store, but forgiveness should be in store as well. Dismissing the arguments about murder and the like, stop and think about those around you. I realize immediately that I have been judgmental, and in that I have sinned as well. My quest will be to stop judging and to be more forgiving. I also realize I have not forgiven one who has judged me, and that too is a sin.

Being honest with myself is not easy and being honest with others incurs judgment. Step back from the age old arguments about punishing murders or answering honestly about new haircuts.

How do we judge others on a daily basis? How do we extend God's mercy on a daily basis? Let he who has never sinned be the first to judge.

The Quest For Time

2009-09-12T13:29:00.003-05:00

Blogging has not been a priority lately. It's not that I don't have anything to say or write about; it's just that the time isn't there. I finally have a toddler, and there is really no time to do anything but run after him. People told me before we began physical therapy that I would regret teaching him to walk. I am sure this is what they were talking about. But, despite the fact that my pantry is in complete disarray, and I am stepping on toys, I do not regret a moment of physical therapy. I am still cheering. In my mind, I am still thinking, "Scooooooorrrrrrrrreeeeeeee). The cheering only gets louder with each day and each mess he makes.

In addition to physical therapy, we have now started speech therapy two days a week. My hope had been to work with ECI or perhaps a local therapist but alas, like all my other plans, it didn't work out that way. Instead, twice a week, we load up at 8:30 in the morning for a 45 minute drive one way for only a 30 minute session. By the time we get home, it is lunch time and naptime.

I'm told once again that I will regret teaching him to talk, but once again, I cannot see where regret would ever come into play. Just today, I heard several times a very labored, "Mama." It was so sweet. He has to work so hard to get the sounds out, but there it was. He has been signing Daddy for some time, but to finally request mama whether in sign or words is very sweet. I look forward to the day that he talks my ear off!

I have also discovered a support group for 7q11.23 duplication. I am still learning about its members but I am so excited to find parents who are experiencing the same sort-of things that we are with Gabriel. I will write more about the support group later.

My quests have taken me on a journey of self-discovery as well. But, that's another post for another day. I want to thank all my friends and readers for sticking with me during this dryspell (of posts). I will once again find the time to write. It just may be a little while longer before those missing minutes are found.

While I am away, you can catch up with our quest to discover and overcome Snugglebug's disorder:
Tying the Pieces Together, Part II
Busy Month

Housekeeping

2009-09-12T12:35:00.003-05:00

I have discovered a whole new world opens up with a toddling toddler in the house. For 17 months, things have been rather laid back. Snugglebug did not investigate too much and certainly did not make messes. One cannot make a mess if you never go anywhere. But, now that he is walking everywhere, there are messes left in his wake. I cannot walk anywhere in my house without stepping on or tripping over a toy. There is no keeping up with the messes either. I have tried, and now find it pointless. Thus, my house is a disaster. But, I am okay with it. I'm not okay with it enough to post pictures. Perhaps, I will eventually be comfortable with that level of honesty. But for now, I admit that my lack of housekeeping is embarrassing.

At the moment, it is naptime, so I am taking on one task of housekeeping right here in blogger-land!

I have wonderful friends who also blog and I am embarrassed to say I have not even been reading their blogs. Chasing after a little one has left me with very little brain power left. Why is chasing a toddler so taxing?

One of my blogger friends has awarded me an award which I would like to acknowledge at this time. Thanks Tammy for thinking of me, and now I get to share this award with my friends!

The terms of this particular award are: Make reference to award and publish it, disclose rules, share 5 things you like to do, share with 10 blogs, inform each blogger (simply got to JeanneLee's blog and right click on the "circle of friends" button and click on 'save picture as' and save the button to your desktop, you can then upload it just like any other photo into blogger).

So here are my 5 things I like to do:
Spending time with my husband
Playing with my son
Chatting with my sisters on the phone
Catching up with friends via Facebook
Sleeping (not that I ever get to, but I do enjoy it)

I want to pass this award on to my friends:

Liz at It's the Bee's Knees!
Laura at The World Is Our Classroom
Becky at Young Readers
Cindy at The Carson Connection
Whitney at A&W's Ethiopian Adoption Adventure

and even though she's already been honored....
Tammy at Not Just Paper and Glue

These people are my wonderful friends with whom I share my daily life. They are my encouragers, prayer partners, kindred spirits, and most of all my friends. Hats off to you!!

The Payoff--Snugglebug Walks!!!

2009-08-09T21:32:00.003-05:00

On Tuesday, we had our regular visit from our physical therapist through Early Child Intervention. She comes to our house twice a month to work with Snugglebug's gross motor skills and sometimes his fine motor skills. For the most part, we work on walking. She teaches me how to teach him. She is like a coach who wants to see Snugglebug succeed almost as much as I do.

Tuesday, Snugglebug took an extra long nap. After sleeping for almost 2 1/2 hours, I actually had to wake him for his PT appointment. After rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and drinking some water from his sippy cup, he was ready to go. It didn't take much coaxing to get him to get him to show off the last week's accomplishment! I set him in front of a chair, and once he had his balance he walked the five or six steps from the chair to me. He grabbed on to me, I turned him around, and he walked back to the chair. He did this once, then twice, then three times!

But, on the fourth lap, he bypassed me, turned the corner, walked around the sofa, and another ten or twelve steps before reaching his favorite push cart.

The therapist and I leaped to our feet at the same time! We each pointed at Snugglebug as if the other had missed the great feat! And we stood in shocked silence so as not to disturb the concentration now going into walking. His steps were shaky, but he was determined. Once stabilized by his cart, a round of applause rang out from both of us. We cheered for his determination, his accomplishment. And I cheered for ours!

Finally, the big payoff! After 8 therapy sessions in four months, he had gone from not even being able to crawl to walking by himself across the room! I rejoiced! I couldn't stop smiling or hopping up and down!

Finally, the big payoff! After 12 months of crying (me that is) everyday, 6 months of hardwork, and 26 doctor's appointments, lab appointments, and therapy evaluations, we had reached the big payoff! He was walking!

Six months ago, I had watched a two-year old playing with a train set and wondered if my son would ever be able to walk around a table and push a train. Six months ago, I had no clue what was wrong. I just knew something was wrong. On that day, I blinked back the tears, as the fears raced through my mind. We have come so far in six months. God has definitely heard our prayers and answered them!

I am reminded of a "conversation" my pastor and I had via Facebook. He commented that it looked like it was going to rain. I replied and said probably not since the radar showed the clouds moving away from us. He replied that he, being an optimist, believed in prayer even for rain clouds. Yes, I wrote, I forgot that prayer works for rain clouds, too. It didn't rain that day, but it did rain a week later.

Sometimes, God doesn't answer our prayers that day. Sometimes it takes time. What we see is only the starting point for God. It is not the ending point. The payoff for God is the amount our faith has grown through the challenge. I think my faith has grown by leaps and bounds over the last 18 months.

Let Us Now Speak Russian!

2009-08-03T19:29:00.004-05:00

Imagine a doctor, other than your pediatrician, telling you that even though you are English speaking, living in an English speaking country, and are surrounded by English speakers that your child's native language is Russian. Of course, the first thought going through your mind as a parent will be, "that's impossible." But the doctor reiterates that if you want your child to speak, you must teach your child Russian. Sounds impossible and ridiculous, doesn't it? But that is exactly what has been going through our minds, mine and my husbands.

While my son is hearing, with only a small hearing impairment, which is correctable with pe tubes, he most likely will need sign language to communicate. See the duplication of 7q11.23 effects the part of the brain that forms speech. And even though Snugglebug can understand everything I say, the words just aren't there for him to communicate. The frustration is obvious on both ends, his and mine. The desire to communicate his needs is frustrating and my desire to understand him is heart wrenching.

So, each day, a dozen or more times, I refer to a sign language manual my sister gave me and an online sign language dictionary. (An aside: My sister is a sign language interpreter, and I believe God gave her that gift so she could bless me in helping me to communicate with my son. God works in awesome ways!) I look up words that we use over and over again such as bird, dog, cat, pear, apple, etc. It would be fine if I only had to remember four or five words in sign language, but an entire dictionary! It's daunting. Two hours later, I have forgotten the sign I looked up earlier and have to check it again. Because not only do you want your child to speak Russian, you want your child to speak it properly, and not like a backwoods hillbilly that no one can understand.

So, I race to look up the word for bird once again and by the time I find it, the hummingbird has left the feeder and Snugglebug is on to something else. I look up that word, too. As I sign the words to Snugglebug, I pray that eventually his speech abilities will kick in. Some studies have shown that adults with the same genetic syndrome have little or no speech problems. The question would be: Are they on the least end of the spectrum or the worst end? Did they "grow out of" their speech problems or were they less in the beginning?

Nevertheless, learning and teaching an entirely new language is daunting. Snugglebug is 17 months, and we have decided we need professional help learning sign language and teaching it to Snugglebug. So, it is time to enlist a speech therapist. The problem is that our pediatrician disagrees, or I should say her staff refused to allow me to pass on my request. The nurse turned me down flat and said I would have to make an appointment if I wanted a script for speech. I guess she is afraid I will give him speech when he doesn't need it and make him immune to speech down the road. Or perhaps the nurse was worried about me marketing the scipt on the street. I hear scripts for speech evaluations go for high dollar! And there is no doubting that some people get a thrill from the spoken word. I would hate to see a speech therapy session fall into their hands or mouths. Or perhaps, she interpreted my request to be a desire to have the youngest person ever in Toastmasters.

Whatever the nurse's reason, and I tried to reason with her, she insisted we needed an appointment before we could even consider speech therapy. Honestly, you would think I had told her I wanted to teach him Russian!

The Mommy Obstacle Course

2009-07-30T11:17:00.003-05:00

Yes, Snugglebug placed each one of these.

Then crawled off, leaving me to have to weave through the traffic.

Hummingbirds

2009-07-30T11:09:00.005-05:00

We have been delighted with our hummingbirds this year. They are so beautiful and don't seem to mind us watching them from the opposite side of the glass. We have had several hummingbird feeders but settled on ones with a footrest for them to sit and drink. We had one feeder that I called a drive-thru because it did not have a footrest. The birds revolted and fought over the feeder that has come to be called the sit-down restaurant. Of course, the drive-thru is now out of business and has been replaced with a a third 5-star sit-down restaurant.

Milestones

2009-07-23T22:16:00.004-05:00

We are getting closer everyday to Snugglebug walking. It has been a roller coaster ride to get to this point and I am overjoyed at God's goodness. He has put people in our path to direct us and teach us and Snugglebug. These people love our little boy as much as we do and have encouraged us while teaching us how to teach him to walk. Our physical therapist, who works with us through Early Childhood Intervention, visits us twice a month to work on motor skills. She has been so awesome that when Snugglebug walks, I am going to be sad to see her go. I know she will only be a phone call away, but she has been a wealth of advice on so many frustrating things that I am eternally grateful to her.

But, alas, the purpose of my post is to celebrate the milestone of first steps. For the last two days Snugglebug has been taking two little steps on his own. He did this for the first time in the church nursery and fortunately, I was working the nursery that day or I would have missed it. So, God works again in the small things. Today, I was taping Snugglebug sweeping, which delights me so much, and while taping he took 4 steps. I was amazed that I caught it on tape!

So, for your enjoyment....

Who says good help is hard to find?

2009-07-23T21:51:00.004-05:00

My little man loves to help me around the house. He helps me move the laundry from the dryer to the basket and from the washer to the dryer. And, when Snugglebug showed an affinity for helping me sweep, I knew this was something I had to seek-out. See, my broom is perfect for my five feet but not so much for his 28 inches. So, I set out to find the perfect broom for my little helper. After searching three stores, we found the perfect broom at the 2nd Wal-Mart that we went to. When I pulled the broom off the rack, Snugglebug's eyes lit up, and he reached out and grabbed it. It was perfect. He's been helping me sweep everyday since!

And, yes, he is shorts-less. This was the end of the day, and we had already been through two pair.

One Cool Little Dude

2009-07-19T15:34:00.005-05:00

"Hey babe, I'll lose the old lady, then we can go back to my crib and party."

The picture was taken at the pool in Florida by Emily Fruge. The quote is courtesy Clay and Collette Ginn, two good friends of ours.

Gabriel was relaxing and yes, watching some girls playing to his right, when the mom of one of the girls asked to take his picture. I was cracking up and wishing my husband had come down with us, so he could take the picture. Alas, she not only took the picture but emailed it to me. Needless, to say we have had endless enjoyment from this picture. What was going through his little mind we may never know!

And just so you know it was his idea to sit on the step and lean back the way he is in the picture. I had been sitting him on the edge and bouncing him off into the water like he was jumping in. Then he decided he needed a break and scooted backwards and stretched out his arms. I was laughing so hard. I am eternally grateful to Emily Fruge for taking the picture!