Anxiety Attacks

Anxiety is a horrible and invisible enemy. It sneaks up on the victim when they least expect it. It's even worse when the victim is a child who can't comprehend or explain their feelings.

Along with 7q11.23 duplication comes a horrible level of anxiety. For some children, the anxiety is so high that it interferes with their social life and behavior, thus leading to past misdiagnosis of autism.

Snugglebug has this anxiety. On the scale of anxiety connected to 7q11.23 duplication, it is on the lesser end. But, on the scale of a nuero-typical three-year old, it is on the high end.

I cannot predict when the anxiety attacks will occur. I don't even know what to do when they do occur except reassure him that we will get through the situation together.

We had two incidents recently that seem to be similar in circumstance.

First, I took my train enthusiast to see Thomas the Train and ride a life-size train. Upon seeing the train, he squealed in delight and took off running toward the train. He was excited beyond belief. We arrived earlier than our boarding pass time so we had time to kill in the bounce house, etc. But, he wasn't interested! He only wanted to ride the train.

Finally, boarding time arrived, and we stood in line to board the train. But, as we approached the train's entrance, panic set in. I could feel him becoming tense but when the panic set in full force, he took off. He left my side and ran down the gang plank, away from me and the train. Fortunately, we were surrounded by understanding parents who cleared a path for me as I chased after him. I caught him pretty quick and hoisted his thrashing body up and back to our spot in line. The anxiety was just too much for him. When fight or flight overtook him, he chose flight.

Once on the train, he calmed down as I talked him through what was about to happen. He was still tense but seemed a little more composed. He made it through the train ride with flying colors. No more attempts at escape. He even climbed off the train by himself. I have no idea if he enjoyed the train ride. The downside of a non-verbal child is not knowing what they are feeling--Good or Bad.

The second incident was similar to the train. His little pre-school class took their first field trip. The eight students and two teachers were to ride the bus to the local library where they would read stories and sing songs. While we talked about it all weekend, the whole thing was new to Snugglebug and anxiety set in again.

The bus rolled up and the other students boarded gleefully, but Snugglebug had a complete meltdown. He was thrashing and crying. I carried him onto the bus and tried to talk to him, but he wasn't hearing me. I sat with him for a little while till he calmed down and was at least breathing again. I explained over and over again what needed to happen and that they were going to have a lot of fun. I finally slid him into the seat but he began crying once again. As I buckled his seat belt, he cried harder and louder. I fought back the tears that were forming and continued to reassure him.

His anxiety had not subsided when I left the bus and the teacher took my place next to him. I smiled and waved as the bus pulled out of the parking lot, but once it was out of site. I fell apart. Big, nasty, crocodile tears poured down my cheeks as I stood there all alone in the parking lot.

I prayed to God to look after my little boy and comfort him because I couldn't. Climbing into my car, I wiped the tears and cried some more. Moments later, I received a text from his teacher with a not-crying photo of Snugglebug. Before they were around the block, he had stopped crying and was enjoying the view from the bus window. I couldn't tell from the photo if he was happy or not, but at least I knew the anxiety had subsided enough that the tears had stopped.

I was extremely grateful to his teacher for letting me know that he was okay. Thoughtful teachers are a great gift to parents as well as students.

Upon returning from the library, Snugglebug had no issues boarding the bus and was excited to see it pull into the parking lot (all relayed to my by his teacher). Since then, he has asked about riding the bus almost everyday. We may actually consider the bus for summer school. It looks like this fear may be well conquered.

A Lesson in Humility

I learned a lesson in humility the hard way. A friend of mine even pointed it out so that I sure not to miss the lesson.

Recently, I posted about my son's good health despite all his internal health issues that are completely unrelated to his immune system. I bragged that while I caught everything, he didn't. No sooner than that was posted than my lesson began.

Snugglebug had been in school for an entire week. At the end of the week, we celebrated with a trip to the park. That evening I noticed a cough but attributed it to allergies. The next morning we were headed to the pediatrician, and he was diagnosed with croup. Just as croup should it lasted three or four days with a couple of bad nights of sleep and a really nasty sounding cough. Since, his school week is Tuesday through Thursday. I wasn't even expecting him to miss school. But, on Monday night his fever spiked the highest it had been all weekend and his cough was back and worse than ever.

I learned the next morning that we should have made a trip to the ER. Our pediatrician was kind and non-judgmental about it. She simply said, "Let's talk about what to do next time." And having a seat walked me through the symptoms, the steps in making a decision to go to the ER, and where to take him should I decide it was necessary. It was all a learning experience and I was grateful for an understanding doctor who was willing to educate me.

Unfortunately for Snugglebug, his croup had turned into pneumonia. He was given some fairly stout antibiotics and sent home with a note that he would be out of school all week. All week he was ill with his fever going up and down. I was worried sick!

Ten days later, my sweet little boy was finally feeling like himself again, and I learned a lesson in humility.

Book Review: Thank You, God, for Mommy

Thank you, God, for Mommy is written by Amy Parker and published by Thomas Nelson Publishers. This adorable board book has a lovely text talking about all the reasons that a child loves mommy. The text is rhythmic and reads smoothly and easily. The illustrations, drawn by Frank Endersby, are just as pleasant as the text and tell an even deeper story than the words itself. A mommy panda and a baby panda are illustrated throughout the book demonstrating the deep love between a mother and child. They are very well done and for the adult who will be reading the book ten thousand times, they will see new things each time the book is read. The illustrations are just that good. They are almost a story within a story.

I give this book 5-stars. It is a great book for children from birth to 4-years. The text is short enough even for the shortest attention span. The illustrations are interesting enough to keep in the older readers interested.

Book Review: God’s Promises Devotional Journal

Published by Thomas Nelson Publishers, this book is a lovely hardback book with lovely raised letters and a leaf design on the cover. The overall look is very impressive.

On the inside are short, less than a half page and some are less than a quarter page, devotions written by some well-known theologians and some not-so-well-known writers. The writers are both male and female so the book will appeal to both male and female readers.

Below each day’s devotion is a question related to the devotion and a lined section for writing your thoughts. The questions and the devotions they are related to are very thought provoking.

The idea of a devotional and a journal all in one book is a great idea. It is a great way to keep your thoughts a faith in check. The devotionals aren’t so long that you take up all your time reading them and trying to decipher them. Instead, they are short, concise, and easy to digest. They are relate-able, making the task of applying the devotional to your own life easy.

I would recommend this book to anyone who loves to journal. I also think it would be great for a college student or a new Christian. The dual devotional and journaling will help both individuals to check their lives and make sure they are following Christ on a daily basis.

I give this book 4-stars and not 5-stars, only because I would like to have seen each devotion build on the previous one. The devotions are very stand-alone which is not a good thing since they are dated and you want to keep your reader/journaler focused on the task at hand.

Book Review: The Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley

The Principle of the Path is a unique self-help book. While one would expect the usual self-help list of ways to get your life on track and as the subtitle says “to get from where you are to where you want to be.” It isn’t. There are no steps and no real process. Instead, Stanley lays out a Biblical principle to help any person regardless of whether their life in on track or not to determine if they are on the right path.

The principle is simple.... “Attention determines direction. Direction determines destination.” Stanley uses lots of scripture to show how God illustrates this principle throughout the Bible.

After reading this book, I can see this principle throughout my own life and the lives of others. Stanley compares the Principle of the Path to the Principle of the Harvest as well as scientific principles that we all know to be true. He argues that whether we agree with the principle or not it rules our life, wherever we focus our attention that will determine our direction and thus the destination. He uses a lot of illustrations about driving which make a lot of sense but also make it difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t read the entire two or three page story.

Stanley uses lots of personal stories to illustrate his point. At times the stories seem to have very little to do with his point and one has to wade through a page or two before seeing the point of the story. His stories can also be a bit wordy.

While the points and philosophy of the book make lots of sense, it takes Stanly two chapters to get to the actual principle of the path. One has to be willing to hang in there before actually learning anything. I would prefer that he get to the point and explain the principle up front in the first chapter then launch into why we need to heed the principle.

I give this book 4-stars for the principle and the use of scripture, but I give it 3-stars for writing and staying on task. Reading this book is like listening to a genius with ADD. He has brilliant points but it is hard to follow the seemingly random chain of thoughts.

School Days--Part 1

We have entered that brave and scary world of public education! Fraught with frustration and anxiety, the process for special ed is nothing short of mind bending. There were days when we actually considered putting our house on the market and moving. And that's saying a lot because we LOVE where we live.

We live in a small town and this is their first year to have a special education program. Needless to say, there are still a few quirks to work out on their end. To their credit, things ended up working out for the best for everyone involved.

From the beginning it seemed like Snugglebug was being placed in the same category as most people place him. Afterall, he looks healthy. On the outside, he doesn't seem to have any problems. He's just quiet. Right? The initial evaluation did not go well to say the least. We picked up on attitudes that just didn't seem to understand why we were there in the first place. Questions seemed to be leading, and the reasons for Snugglebug's use of sign language was questioned. We left feeling completely dejected and we prepared to fight for a place in the program.

In the end, they analyzed all his records and came to a much better understanding of who Snugglebug is as a person. We were surprised to see the change in attitude.

They opted to place Snugglebug in a brand new class which had only been started a month earlier. This class is purely experimental and completely outside the box of most other special ed programs. The one goal of this new class....To teach speech to children with severe speech issues. Using the same tools as any other preschool classroom, games, music, story books, puzzles, Play Doh, crayons, etc, they encourage speech from the children. It seemed like a perfect fit for Snugglebug except for one concern. We were adamant that Snugglebug have an interpreter and that he continue his sign vocabulary. To our amazement the teach, a speech pathologist, was also a certified sign interpreter. What are the odds of that? According to someone in the know, slim to none in even the largest of school districts.

Our first ARD was far from what we expected. Everyone was amiable and cooperative. There were no surprises from either side of the table. The teacher was already aware of our desire to continue sign in addition to speech and agreed that it was necessary.

After all the horror stories we have heard, after the horrid evaluation, we were stunned to receive all the services we needed for Snugglebug. It was better than winning the lottery! Talk about your unexpected blessings, this was it. We left with a spot for Snugglebug in their new class and permission to start the very next week.

To Be Continued....

School Days--Part 2

Snugglebug's new class is three days a week in the morning. We missed the first day due to a doctor's appointment, so we started on day 2 of their week.

I stuck around on the first day to observe the class and students to make sure it would be a good fit. I had not had an opportunity to do this prior to his start date because our ARD was so close to his third birthday.

Snugglebug's anxiety of new situations is higher than the average three-year old. So, staying behind on the first day had another purpose...to help him ease into things. We've been working on various techniques to help him deal with his anxiety, and I was able to show the teacher our techniques throughout the morning.

Our first technique is nothing unusual. We let Tigger, Snugglebug's best bud, go to school with him. Tigger has the great ability to break the ice and test things out for Snugglebug. Tigger's not afraid of anything. He'll jump out and try new things where Snugglebug would never dream of it. Oftentimes, Tigger can show Snugglebug just how much fun a task can be and get him to try it. Stuffed animals are just magical that way.

Our other device is the use of a microfiber cloth (the kind used to clean eye glasses). Snugglebug will become so anxious that he will actually bite and chew his fingers till they bleed. The cloth gives him an outlet for his anxiety, something similar to a worry stone, and keeps him from chewing on his fingers.

While Snugglebug was extremely anxious, the other kids were glad to see him and welcomed him with open arms, inviting him to sit next to them and even offering their chairs. It was so wonderful to see the other kids so accepting. He never said a word but automatically had new friends.

He was timid at first and didn't want to participate, but as the morning wore on he became more and more interested in the tasks at hand. Less than an hour into the class, he was giving the teacher high-fives for participating. It was at this point that I started to cry. I explained to the teacher how rare it is for him to give a high-five on the first day and that we have good friends who still don't get a high-five. It was a huge step!! I knew at that moment that he would be just fine! He was going to love his new class, his new teacher, and the other students.

I wasn't wrong!! The next morning I told Snugglebug that he had school today. On any normal day, it is a battle to get him dressed and out the door, but on day 2 of school, he was more than willing to get ready. In fact, we were ready 15 minutes early. We ended up just sitting in the school parking lot waiting for them to open the doors.

On day 2, I walked him to his classroom, where he walked right in and made himself at home. We said goodbye at the door, and I headed to the office to fill out mounds of enrollment paperwork. He never whimpered or cried. He never wondered where I was. He had a great day! His teacher even video taped him dancing with the other kids. He had a blast! Day 2 was a huge success!!