I was beginning to wonder today if I am actually going to survive this age known as "something twos." I hate the word so I won't utter it, write it, or even confess to it. But, alas, my 2 1/2 year old son has been two ALL day. I keep asking him to be four for just five minutes. But, it doesn't work that way. I was pondering the odds of my survival after having placed him in time-out for at least the tenth time in an hour.
What did he do to deserve such treatment you ask? The even better question is what was he doing that he didn't seem to mind being placed in time-out.
My story begins an hour earlier when Snugglebug grabbed a window-perched sleeping cat by the tail and gave it a good yank. The poor cat woke from her slumber and tried to fend off her attacker only to get tangled in the curtain. Snugglebug thought this was grand....And the chase was on. The cat extricated herself from the curtain and ran like mad. I can only assume she hid under the bed because even though Snugglebug took off after her the chase ended abruptly. All this was related to me by our babysitter who was with him while I was grocery shopping. Snugglebug was distracted from the cat while I brought in the groceries and started re-heating our left-overs.
But, just as I am putting dinner on the table, the cat reappears. Faith, the cat, hops onto the dining room table (I'm sure smelling the delish pork chops). Snugglebug hops into the chair and proceeds to climb onto the table after her.
"Don't chase the cat," I yell from the kitchen. But the cat dives under the table, followed by Snugglebug who doesn't seem to care that I haven't swept the floor in ....Well, I won't finish that sentence.
Faith runs around the outside corner of the table followed by Snugglebug who is slowed down only because the table is so close to the wall. Faith leaps onto the back of the sofa where only months before she had been safe, but no more! Snugglebug had previously placed his jumping horse next to the sofa and leaped onto the back of the horse and was immediately eye level to the cat. In an instant, Faith leaped onto the sofa, under the coffee table, and around the end of the sofa.
"Don't chase the cat," I yell again as Snugglebug also dives onto the seat of the sofa and under the coffee table. "Stop chasing the cat," I say again, presuming that my son can hear. I must have a word with that audiologist. She is obviously wrong! (No comments correcting me because it is easier for me to accept that my son is deaf than disobedient.)
Snugglebug attempts to dive under the end table by the sofa only inches from the cat who lets out a loud "rowr, hiss." Snugglebug giggles. And I grab him by his disappearing feet and say again, "Don't chase the cat."
I explain while wrestling him into time-out that we don't chase the cat. She doesn't like it. And there he stayed for two minutes while I and the cat catch our breath. In case you are wondering why he stayed in time-out, it is because time-out is a good old fashioned play pen. You know the kind with the wooden bottom and chicken wire sides. There's no escaping!
But, alas, chasing the cat was well worth two minutes in time-out. Obviously, giving the cat a two minute head start just added to the fun. After releasing Snugglebug from time-out and explaining that we don't chase the cats, he immediately went in search of the cat who was again on the dining room table.
"Rowr,hiss," she dives. Snugglebug giggles. "Don't chase the cat!" I demand, as if it matters.
"Rowr, hiss, Faith jumps. Snugglebug giggles. "Don't chase the cat!" I command, like I have any power at all at the moment.
Repeat time-out process. Repeat the cat chase about 8 or 9 more times. By 20 minutes till 7:00 I am wondering if I will actually survive all this. Even though Snugglebug is only supposed to be in time-out for two minutes, the last session was a bit longer. Faith thanked me later. This time I didn't turn Snugglebug loose. I realized at this point that it was far more fun to chase the cat than it was agonizing to sit in time-out. We spent the next 15 minutes coloring while he sat in my lap. Yes, that works too. Faith thanked me later for that, too.
At 7:00 sharp! I put Snugglebug to bed and finally got to eat supper.