Monday, April 27, 2009

Connectivity, Part 2

I am incredibly touched by the comments left on my first Connectivity post. They reminded me of a news story years ago in which someone did a study of some kind and determined that with all our technology we are more disconnected than ever before. Here we have email, text messages, and cell phones yet we are not connected on any level to one another. How is it that we can have so many brief contacts with a person and yet still not be connected?

One must wonder if it is the lack of common denominators that keeps us from connecting with those around us, i.e. different religions, different jobs, children, no children. You get the idea. It is certainly harder to connect with someone if their religion is different or if they have children and you don't. It is hard to know what to say and what not to say. It is hard to build that foundation for friendship if you first don't fit into the same category.

Which leads me to the next question. At what point in our lives do we have enough common denominators that we feel like we fit in a category and thus feel connected to those around us? Is it when we are children? Some would argue that they didn't feel connected to their own families. Is it college? Is it church? Is it children?

I would argue that none of those create a common denominator to build the connectedness we so greatly desire.

So what do we need to feel connected? I have pondered this question for days. With each comment to my first post, I have wondered what it is that connects us. I have come to the realization that the connectedness I seek is partly with myself. Is it true that others need to connect with themselves in order to connect with each other? I can't say yes or no.

I have also come to the conclusion that I need to connect more with God. Perhaps, part of my trying times is to expand my Faith in God and to reconnect with Him.

What connects us? Obviously, it is not technology and I am not sure it is a common denominator of children or religion. I am going to continue pondering this question and may revisit it at a later date. It really has provoked a great deal of pondering on my part.


Araratacres said...

Your pondering is making me pause to ponder more too! I was gardening this afternoon (a connection you and I share), and it gave me food for thought (ha! no pun intended).

We share a love for words, a common Christian faith, are both country girls, and love finding ways to be frugal. We love animals and our husbands. We have a moral compass.... I think all of these things are a connection, but are not the root of our connectedness. While pondering in the garden, I found that a great part of our friendship/connectedness comes from mutual respect(perhaps?). I think about all the people I am connected to, and of those I wish I was "more connected" with. I respect all of them and their abilities.....what they are so good at doing (whether that be living a life of example, being a great mom, a fantastic prayer warrior, a magical gardener, an incredible horse trainer, etc). I may not agree on everything, but having respect for someone and their gifts allows for that. Respect + a commonality in interests usually equals a desire in deepening friendships for me.

As far as connectedness goes, sometimes a phone conversation is satisfactory, sometimes a personal visit is absolutely email is ok for small stuff, I HATE the concept of TEXTING me, that is a very unconnected way of connecting, and should be relegated to "emergency use only" status (ie- if there is no other way to communicate). Sometimes, when someone "connects" with me in some little way, just to let me know they care, is a huge connectivity booster, you know?

This is a blog topic that will keep me ruminating too, because there is no simple answer.

(geeez- if this were about the opposite sex, researchers would just pin it all on pheromones!)

Cynda Western Felini said...

WOW! Mutual respect. I think you hit the nail on the head. That is so true. The women I truely connect with I also highly respect. I am reading a book and I will share more later, that talks about judging one another and the damage it causes. If we respected each other more there would be less judgement and more connectedness.

Thanks for the thought-provoking comment!!