New Year's Resolutions

I don't really do resolutions. I feel they are meant to be forgotten. Instead, I look at the new year more as a time to refocus my energies, to redefine myself, and to reshape my future.

I believe we should stop ever so often and take a deep introspective look at ourselves. We shouldn't use that time to chastise or demean ourselves for being who we have become, but honestly take note of that being. If we don't take the time to look at ourselves honestly, we lose track of who we are. We become lost in the vast chasm of humanity. That is to say we don't know who we are anymore than we know a total stranger.

So, in January I focus on prayer, Bible study, and my heart and soul. I take a deep look and examine the person I have become over the last year. Is it someone I like? Would I be friends with the person I have become? Am I happy on the inside or do I feel lost? What makes me happiest? What makes me depressed?

The last two questions seem rather pointless, but are very telling. One year, I discovered that making other people happy made me happiest only to realize that I wasn't happy at all. I had spent so much time the previous year making other people happy that I was completely lost and depressed. I had lost myself in the crowd. I realized that being a "yes" person wasn't exactly the best way to live life.

Another year, after reading a book whose title I have since forgotten, I made a list of "danger zones." These were things that reminded me that I needed to stop, slow down, and take a moment to appreciate life. I had raced through the year without acknowledging the blooming roses, the falling leaves, or the beauty that had passed me by.

This year as I reflect, I am reading Traveling Light by Max Lucado, and Think and Make It Happen by Dr. Augusto Cury. I will share about both books when I am finished reading them. I am also completing a complete introspection. Asking those tough questions that I mentioned above. This has been a great year of change for me. I went from working to staying at home, from free to come and go to being a full-time mom. It has been quite a year and will be quite a year next year.